Toad Woods 2019. Plenty of cheer and conversation, and food, and a giant rubber Santa Duck in the front yard as inside closed doors and around fires. The distant, unrelated fire of the RWA organizational meltdown, burnt on over on Twitter. Guitar was played, songs sung, leftovers eaten.

Yesterday I left work early. Today I called in sick, slept for several hours, and woke up feeling lethargic and whipped. My plan to lay around and feel sorry for myself was going along spectacularly until I started reflecting on my financial situation again. I decided to sell some things and even went to Facebook and reactivated my account because the Marketplace was the quickest and easiest thing I could think of when one wants to unload things quickly. I didn't price things to sell, which may have been a mistake. Also, something is wrong with my notifications and I'm rethinking the entire thing because now I just want these things gone. I want to move, I found a super cute place in an area where I'm not sure I want to live, a very inexpensive condo not far from work that would need some updating and cleaning if nothing else, and a couple of other places that are hard to see since the current owners have so much junk and unfortunate clutter laying around (kind of like my place at the moment...).O

In an effort to tackle my paperwork, and get a better handle on where my money goes I put recurring monthly bills into a binder that I unearthed while cleaning. I've tried many iterations of this, and am praying that this one will stick while others have failed, for whatever reason(s). One thing I did this year was create my version of a Capsule Wardrobe. No, I don't have 33 itemI ams that I rotate through, however I have something that I feel functions even better, a wardrobe that works for me that is very flexible, and isn't missing any major pieces with the possible exception of a LBD, and I'm not typically the dress type anyways. Whenever I read one of these simplifying, decluttering, minimizing, capsular wardrobe, etc... articles, I never find what I feel is one of the key concepts; what is working, and for clothing, what shape is it, and does that shape resemble the one you actually are? Carol Tuttle has a fabulous book (in my opinion) called; 'It's Just My Nature'. I've referenced this book before, you may not agree with her theory, I've found it invaluable.

Briefly; she divides people into four main groups with the admission that one person may be predominantly one and have another, or more, to a lesser extent. I took this test, even paid real money for it, and found what sometimes happens to me. I don't know myself as well as I think that I do. So after collecting a bunch of Type 1 clothes that mostly did not fit my personality, I moved on, and experimented. Reading the Type 4 profile is disconcerting as I don't feel it describes me well, however, when I bought and wore clothes designed for this type, it worked. In an effort to keep things simple I bought five or six pairs of the same black pants, I already had two pairs of dark jeans, and now the majority of my tops are black as well. I have a white turtleneck, and I swear that I have a bad day at work any time I pull it off the hanger. It just doesn't feel right even though it is exactly the same size as my black ones. I also enjoy wearing navy, but this is a tougher color to work with as there aren't as many options, especially for footwear. 

Speaking of footwear, another thing I learned from selling it is that a lot of people compromise when it comes to the things that are worn closest to the body. This is a mistake that I've learned to avoid more often. The more comfortable your socks, bra, panties, etc..., are, the more comfortable you will be (generally speaking). I already had several pairs of compression hose, but when I was building a wardrobe, I made sure I had enough to get through a typical work week. 95% of my footwear is black, and that means my socks are dark so I don't have to think too hard about any of this. One of my all purpose go to storage items are plastic divided containers designed to hold the lids to Mason jars. I bought the first one, and went back for several more after discovering how ingenius this little gizmo is. There are eight slots, they hold actual glass jars, I have two in my fridge, one in my freezer, one in my pantry, and the last one in my closet. Once my clothes is clean, all I have to do is tuck it into the slots provided, and I can immediately see what I have, and what holes, if any, need to be filled.

While Marie Kondo has her detractors, overall, I am a huge fan. Her book was pivotal in my life, and it goes beyond keeping certain things and disposing or discarding others. A gem I picked up from her book that I didn't realize was missing from my life, was pajamas and lounge wear. Another book I read; The Exhaustion Cure, touched on this in a more general sense. That author felt it was very important to get out of your work, or outside clothing, and into something more comfortable. While this often has sexual connotations, and I'm certainly not opposed to any, many, or most of them, I suspect her mind doesn't automatically go there the way that mine tends to when I come across content such as that. I tried it for a while. Came home, stripped off whatever I had been wearing, and for a while I would end up taking another bath or shower since I felt so grimy both physically as well as mentally and spiritually. I'm still working on healthier ways to unwind after work, and I must say, it was nice to have less restrictive options when I was just hanging out at home. 

Another thing I rarely see when reading about the wonders of a capsule wardrobe is how boring it can be, especially if you did what I tried, and went for a mostly monochromatic color scheme. I bought more clothes when the weather turned colder, and for the most part, I'm happy with what I have accomplished. It's not perfect, but it works, and for the most part I feel good about what I'm wearing, and how I'm wearing it. I have a pretty generic set-up, casual black pants, black turtleneck, or long sleeved shirt, vest (casual, or dressier), and I wear scarves all year round so they tend to figure into the rotation well. I've found deals at Goodwill, but I've also made the mistake of buying something simply because it was inexpensive, and not because it filled a true wardrobe need. I have two necklaces, a couple bracelets, and three earrings (I have both of my lobes as well as the middle of my outer ear pierced). I've had the earrings for decades, and like the few things that have managed to stick with me over the years, they serve a purpose in my life.

The other night at work this guy and I were rearranging vehicles, this is a constant battle at work, and I'm grateful that he's always so willing to pitch in and help when he can. I told him I would pick him up after he dropped off a Honda CRV in the Not For Sale row, that's where we keep trades, vehicles that are coming off of leases, and purchases that our used car (preowned) manager has acquired. The door was locked when he tried it, and I made a joke about leaving him out in the cold after agreeing to help. Then I told him that I wouldn't be that cruel which sparked a conversation about cruelty. I'm not sure what followed, but he said that he didn't think I could be cruel, and then that made me wonder. When I was driving there was a song about best friends playing, and it made me think about what a good friend he is to me. I don't really know him, but whenever we work together I feel like we have some great conversations. He has a way of being with a crowd without being a part of it, he's a really interesting person in a quiet and unassuming way, and I'd love to see the company expand his role and make more use of his brain power. 

I'm not sure what I did, or didn't do, but the area beneath my ribcage on my right side hurts. My whole body is stiff and sore from inactivity and coughing. There are times when I need to break down to build up, and I feel as if I did some important things during this period of convalescence. I didn't get to where I am at by accident, and my future is still a collection of the decisions I have, and will make. It was such an awesome feeling to go home after all of the keys in my box were lined up exactly as they were on the lot. It won't last, but for one gloriously perfect moment I had the knowledge that we as a team had done something that nobody else had ever seen worth doing. Companies lose money in countless ways, and it made me feel great knowing that we saved them a bunch for a change. I told that guy that if you opened up my heart you would find the word; 'Efficiency' inside of there, but that's only part of the reason I work so hard and strive to do things in ways that make us more effective managers of our limited resources. You can't pay me to do what I do; I love the people I do it for, and there really isn't a good translation that makes any sense.

Depending on how I feel I might go in for a few hours tomorrow. I'm tired of sitting around at home, especially now that I tore apart my living room to take pictures for that stupid Facebook group. It wasn't the best idea ever, but I'm still proud of myself for trying something new. I'm glad I reached out to get a preapproval letter from my bank, if I don't hear back from them I can always get one somewhere else. I can keep searching, sell things, reduce what I buy, I still haven't been to any stores other than that one stop to fill up my car, sooner or later I will buy something, but every minute, every hour, every day, each week that I can keep the streak going is progress, and maybe it hasn't been the prettiest thing ever, but it's been good for my self esteem. Today I wrote down life lessons I've learned from various people at work. Perhaps at some point in time I will type it up, for you, for me, for them, for all of us. I enjoy giving, I'm learning how to receive, and there are benefits to being on both side, the balance seems to be the key for me.

Until next time,

J

P.S. I found a painting in my car that I had forgotten about, it was as if I had left a present for myself to find later, and if that wasn't cool and forward thinking of me, I don't know what is. Cheers.

j

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