Got my vagina completely flushed out this morning. This is something I do ahead of the holidays. It often helps with the festivities. Christmas is a different kind of experience in northern Maine.
All the ladies get passed around in the woods by the "men of the woods." This is a group of real, hairy men who live in the woods and like sex during the winter months. We make it special for them. Because it is Christmas.
I don't know if you've ever been to the town of Shawnee. I've seen things in these woods. Holiday things. Many, many holiday things. All of them are enjoyable for some of the participants. Less so for others. This is the American way. Some have an axe. Some run through the woods in their underwear. Being hunted. The way it is supposed to be. I suppose most of you would be hunted. Probably 80 percent.
As any woman knows, flushing out your vagina usually removes about 5 lbs of detrius. This is why you do this. The detrius. It needs to be dealt with. A vagina is not just a hole. It is like a living plum of a living thing. Treat it that way.
Educational writeups about vaginas are few and far between on this site. I wonder why that is. Maybe the educated people left. Only the squirmy, sad ones remained. There needs to be more of this.
I don't know how many of you ever leave the house. Maybe one or two? From time to time? Maybe? What do you do outside? Play? Other things? Why not share. That is what nodes are for. Bunch of seed corn. Sickening.
Learn about vagina. Read book. Educational, well researched books. Pick up some. Christmas. Write about vagina. In your room. By yourself. Like a sad person.
Do it. This is the essence of sad holiday noding. Do it now.
Christmas tis the season to show your ass. It is the season for bringing tree limbs to the homes of others. Present them with the tree limbs. Wait for thanks. Leave. Quickly. Tiresome. Neighbors are tiresome. Maybe some won't survive the year. Vagina.
Think about what you are doing to yourself over the holidays. What you are putting yourself through. It makes you want to rip your balls free from your body and just chuck them at the wall, doesn't it? That doesn't make a vagina, by the way. That makes a mess. Don't do it. Buy egg nog. Christmas. Celebrate joy of season. Yuletide cheer. One and all.
How many noders are home alone these days. How many no longer remember their passwords? How many "fled noders' have been trying to log in for years without ever getting their password right. Maybe we should help them. For Christmas. Send some texts. Send them now. Christmas. Yuletide cheer. Other holidays. More than forty. Joy to the world. Mirthful season. No sad. Man alone in dirty apartment. No socks. Eating tuna out of can. Cold fireplace. Television. No vagina. Sad.
Old man. Passed out in road. Heavy booze smell. Take home. Christmas Yuletide cheer. Maybe egg nog. No vagina. Not for him. Drunk old man. Not wise. No cookies for him. Joy to the world.
What is the average size of a vagina? I bet you're wrong. Don't Google it. Know. Go to research center. Talk to vagina scientists. Get proper numbers. Then talk about it. Otherwise, shut up. No business talking. Yuletide cheer. Christmas. No sad. Joy.
A lot of people on this site have shit wrong with them. Why do we tolerate them? Christmas. Reason for season. Joy to the world. Yuletide vagina. Intact balls. Not torn off. Life-affirming. Not madness. Christmas.
You hear sawing noises in the apartment next door. You hope they are being productive. Maybe they are severing human limbs. Freeing them from the body. Intent to bury. Don't think about that. Joy to the world. Reason for season. Gift giving. Patronizing the poor. Not dismemberment. Think happy thoughts. Like a little boy pissing his pants. You'll cry soon. You'll cry a lot. Your life will be bad. It will get worse. Joy to the world. Reason for season. Merry Christmas.
Your thoughts can be your friend. Happy thoughts. Positive thoughts. Feeling good. Feeling okay. Your thoughts can be your enemy. Ugly thoughts. Negative vibe. Torn free scrotum. No vagina. Sad. Joy to the world. Reason for season. Monday morning. Still alive. Good for you. Keep plugging away. Merry Christmas. Go to the park. Talk to small animals. Soon, your only friends. No others. You will realize. Just small animals. This is all for you. Nothing more. Yuletide joy. You and yours.
Gorgeous ass. Sad ass. Still Christmas. Try to enjoy it. Tin of tuna. Lonely old man (needs to be noded). Black and white television. Yuletide joy.
Christmas. Bitches love it. You will love it, too. Reason for season. Jump right into it. Christmas. Yuletide joy.
Have you pulled it together this year? Are you losing it? Talk to someone. Talk to a friend. Talk to random guy. Get into his car. Go wherever he wants to go. Do whatever he wants you to do. For Christmas. Make it happen for him. Maybe it will be lovemaking. Maybe something else. Could end badly. Yuletide joy. Reason for season. Santa Claus. Sleigh bells.
Maybe you pissed yourself this morning. Not Christmas yet. Still time to do something about that. Special pants. Adult pants. Not shameful. Pulling it together. Getting vagina. Silver bells. Santa Claus. Mall. Reindeer. Reason for season. Frosty the Snowman.
Are you with the program? Or are you being a tart? Don't be a tart. Join Christmas. We have openings. Many openings. Good pay. Christmas. Reason for season. Sleigh bells. Ding-a-ling. Kid brother. Rat in pants. Yuletide joy. Charles Dickens. Cheerful writing. Fantasy world. Wonderful.
Ever get a bone stuck in your maw? Bine caught in throat. Choking. Can't get air. That's Christmas. Coming for you. Like it or not. So much untold human suffering. Bearing down on you. Oh, just pretend it is fine. Buy a Cuisinart. Fuck it. Reason for season. Holly jolly Christmas. Yuletide joy. Vagina.
Child with a filthy teddy bear. Probably has no right to it. TAKE IT. Remind child of value of a hard day's work. Punish child. Spare rod? No. Bring rod. Teach lesson. Christmas lesson. About obedience. Reason for season. Joy to the world. Holy night. Christmas.
We can huddle together. By the fire. Find warmth in each other's words, bodies, and minds. We can worm our way into each other's consciousness. Invade. Take over. Influence. Bring happiness. Orgasm. Good talks. Learning new things. Christmas. Many holidays. Can't name them all. Weirdos talk about Christmas and ignore the rest. I am not a weirdo. I have a vagina.
Christmas.