So, why are you here today?

Being home from uni is very painful, some days. In a way I've always been my mother's child. I don't really understand my father. He was a child of World War II and his additude dates from that era. He's racist, homophobic, and xenophobic. It seems somehow fitting that his only son be gay.

Have you told him yet?

I haven't told him yet. I've only really known for about three years, but it's clear that I have been my entire life. I can't tell him. He wouldn't understand.

Why do you think that?

Well — for example, he forced me through scouting, and now that I've laid all of that behind me, he still brings it up from time to time. He's rather ill, you see. He spent most of his life as cheap labour; he went back to school after he was laid off, but illness overtook him before he could really get a job. In a sense, his life has been wasted. So he has to live through me.

You resent him for that?

No, I love him, really. It's just that I can't stand him. We don't talk very much. We don't see anything eye to eye. He loves Bush. He voted for the Gay Marriage Ban in our state, and gloated about it. Yet still I have my filial duties. Like having a child — I mean, a son. Someone to carry on the family name. But that will never happen. I can't have children. The curse of homosexuality.

There's only a week of winter break left. I just keep telling myself that my friends will be waiting for me to get back. There's a boy I love, and I think he loves me... but all this angst Father would never understand. Chin up, m'boy, chin up.

Broken Horn sighs...

OK Wilson
OMG! Have I told you I am temping as an admin at Kaiser Permanente? Do you know what Kaiser Permanente is? It's an HMO with notoriously bad customer service. I've been a Kaiser patient since I was 3. I went in about 5 years ago to try to get some migraine medicine. I told the doctor I have migraines and she immediately replied, "Well, you probably don't have migraines, you probably have tension headaches." (My apologies if I've told you this one before. It remains a highlight of bad customer service in my life.) My response was A. I was diagnosed when I was 12 as having migraines by a Kaiser doctor - how about CHECKING MY FILE? 2. How about ASKING WHAT MY SYMPTOMS ARE before making a diagnosis? 3. How about SHOWING SOME FUCKING RESPECT? OK, so that gives you a little background to Kaiser. Don't get me wrong, it's not a terrible place to work, but today I am pissed at all the fucking admins who either don't know how to do the job or choose to do a crappy job for the purpose of tormenting others because of their own psychological deficits. I suspect a mix of both. We have Lana, who just doesn't ever get back to you, no matter how urgent your question. We have Erica, who leaves early or takes days off without notifying anyone, including her manager, and without bothering to arrange for SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE THE CMIS TRAINING BINDERS TO THE LEADS MEETING. And finally we have Jeanette, whose name I curse, who does such a crappy job of "scheduling" meetings that I have rearranged two managers' calendars repeatedly, to no purpose. And when I requested that she cease and desist from telling me meetings are final before checking with the participants, she has the FUCKING NERVE to respond, "Well, the best way for you to handle that situation...." I just cannot tolerate people who attempt to cover up their own shortcomings by acting as though the other person is incompetent or ignorant.
I tell you, Wilson, I will find a way of revenging myself upon her sorry ass before the week is out!
Anyway, the pay is great and I only have six weeks to go. Wish me luck!
Godspeed -

OK Gruner
Yes!! We are back in the saddle!! The only thing better than me on tequila is you temping. Ahahahahahaha. While I am sorry for you, I cannot help but rejoice...jumping about the office and wringing my hands together in fits of joy. Oh....the stories!! THE STORIES!! I vaguely recall the migraine story you are telling me, which makes me like it all the more. Taking me right back to 1997. Thank you, Gruner. Thank you for emailing me this information. I just had a meeting with the Seahawks kicker, J--- B---, who cracks me up!! Wants to partner with us on some charity events because, as he puts it, "I am single and have a lot of spare time on my hands. I love this place and if I can find a way to spend more time here without spending all of my money, that would be great." I was laughing very hard. I think I found some stuff for him to do, but more importantly, I told him I would be happy to help fill his spare time by drinking with him and his manager whenever they want, as they are very amusing. Ahahahahahahah.
I am hating your co-workers a lot. Ah....just like old times. Sham job working with assholes. Let the voicemails begin!!
Over and Out

more unexpurgated stories of corporate-inspired rage and celebrity drunkenness will follow if upvotes are sufficient. Or even if they aren’t. You sourpusses are nature’s assholes!!!!!

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