It's not cancer.

I remember hearing those words. They were said to me on my birthday, 12 to 13 years ago . Wave after wave after wave of relief. Was experiencing some pain in my groin. Couldn't stand up straight, and could barely walk. My boss took me to see his doctor. After a brief exam, he sent me off to get a sonogram. Odd experience, but hey, whatever to make the pain stop. After he consulted with the doctor, I was informed I had testicular cancer and why they thought so. Said it was a tumor due to its irregular shape and "having its own blood supply." Scheduled for not immediate, but pretty much emergency, day surgery to remove it for biopsy. As already given away, got the phone call that it wasn't cancer. Said testicle was damaged somehow, was leaking blood, and had just started becoming necrotic. Had it removed just in time it seems. Was told the official diagnosis was it spontaneously ruptured, so I still get to joke every now and then about actually busting a nut. And,

it wasn't cancer.

Fast forward to the present. My ex-wife came up for our middle grandchild's birthday. Was nauseous and vomiting the whole weekend, and finally went to see a doctor when she got back to the town she lives in now. They ran some tests and did some imaging and then told her it was cancer. Let her know she had a tumor about the size of a baseball that was also attached to her appendix. As back-up, told her her numbers were either high or off-the-charts high. Scheduled surgery for a complete abdominal hysterectomy, including ovaries, fallopian tubes, and appendix today. Went in, the surgery took about six hours, all went well. Got a text from our daughter afterwards. It read,

It wasn't cancer.

Seems one of her ovaries had gotten all twisted up and was full of blood. And guess what else? Her birthday is this weekend. The only three words that are better than hearing that first "I love you" from either your child or a grandchild is,

It's not cancer.

Posted anonymously as I didn't get permission of my ex or my daughter to write about this.