It hasn't been a good few days but its been a good day overall I suppose. I've been down in the dumps to say the least, with my mom being unemployed now. I've been forced into a position in which I wish hadn't been placed until I was at least comfortable with my meager income
. But today, with some indiscretions
, I calmed myself down, but didn't hang around my buddies tonight.
I've been taking the bus a lot lately so I've had some time to think to myself. It always seems like its a scene from a movie. I sit by the window, not looking directly at my reflection
but somewhat to the left or the right of it. I see the world passing by and it seems that I'm stationary in relation. Time passes by so quickly, and I seem to be not moving. It's not making me feel better, and recent developments are not helping. But seriously, its eemed like one of those movies, something that would like come out of Sleepless in Seattle
or something. I look back and think that I'm looking like one sad guy, pining for the lost love of his life, when in reality, I just need to cope.
I've met two amazing ladies in my microeconomics
class. They're absolutely cool to hang around with, in and out of class. One is absolutely gorgeous, while the other is attractive in her own right. We've gone out for a martini
or two, even studied together (some people are still scoff
ing about that as we speak). But now, I find that I'm trying to accomodate to their schedule in the spring semester and wonder whether its simply desparation or making the most of a good thing.
Since my mom lost her job, I've been placed in a position where I have to take my place as the man of the house
. Mind you, I love my mom and I adore her to the very ends of the earth and I don't mind doing it but I rather think that it will be hard for me to have some time for myself and accumulate the necessary funds to go to school and pay for the car insurance
and part of the mortgage
. Now I find myself cancelling plans with some old friends because I know I'll regret spending the money with them. I don't really want to lie but the truth hurts
. I rather spare them the reality of my meager yet realistic existence at the cost of my own self-dignity.
I am planning to spend some time with some closer friends over the holidays. The earliest time would be on Monday, hopefully for another indiscretion. Tuesday would be another good day as I will see my good lady friend that I met through Tetrinet
. Its been a while. But hey, its better for me to prioritize right?
I am going to steal my sister's microrecorder
. I'm usually the type to mumble my greatest thoughts to myself when I'm not trying to remember it and I would like to know what I'm thinking. Maybe I'll figure out something about myself. I am usually the type of person where I would write something in my journal
or even this daynode
and read it the next day and not remember a word. It feels like I'm meditating
and gone to the astral
plane or something. Cheezy but true.
The song of the day is Wonhago Wonhangmanjyoh by As One. Another soft ballad, and again dictates the mood I'm in. Lovely. Maybe tomorrow it will shift to something more up tempo. I doubt it simply because Alana is leaving and I can't go to her farewell party. Damn it. I'm going to sleep. At least I'm sure to not feel anything then.