So, I'll be a panelist at Confusion in Detroit the weekend of January 17-19. This is the first time I've been to this particular convention; I decided to apply to be a programming participant when I found out a friend was driving up. Weather-wise, January is not the nicest time to visit Detroit, but on the other hand I expect we'll mostly be in the hotel all weekend. Some writers will be there whom I haven't had a chance to meet yet, and some acquaintances whom I haven't seen in years will also be there.

If any noders will be in the area, let me know! Maybe we could grab coffee in the hotel restaurant or a drink in the bar or something.

Here's my schedule:

Missed Trends in Urban Fantasy
Lucy A. Snyder, Christian Klaver, Mike Underwood, Courtney Moulton, J. C. Daniels
9am Saturday - Erie
Sometimes an idea fails to find an audience, or zeitgeist just zigs when a story zags. For whatever reason, there are a number of unexplored areas of Urban Fantasy that we might want to revisit.

If I Knew Then What I Know Now (Session One)
Lucy A. Snyder, Ron Collins, Jacqueline Carey, Tobias Buckell, C. C. Finlay, Ian Tregillis
10am Saturday - Michigan Room
Many of us would do things differently if we had the opportunity to go back and try again with what was learned later. We can’t do that for everything, but in this hour several publishing veterans will shed some light on some aspects of the writing life that they learned the hard way.

Hybrid Publishing
Lucy A. Snyder, John Klima, Sandra Tayler, Howard Tayler, Tobias Buckell
1pm Saturday - Southfield
Self-publishing is here to stay. Traditional publishing is still going strong.  What do the people who who do both have to share about their experiences?

How do I find the right fit when looking for an Agent?
Amy Sundberg, Peter Orullian, Lucy A. Snyder, Aimee Carter
7pm Saturday - Ontario
What do you look for? Should you ever consider changing agents or is there a situation where one should find more than one? What are some warning signs or things to avoid?

Reading with Lucy A. Snyder and Ferrett Steinmetz
12pm Sunday - Erie

So I think I made a mistake, but that's not the real problem. The real problem is I obsess, act impulsively, and then regret my actions later instead of taking the time to think through things. I should have confirmed that the people who I want to meet in Dallas are going to be there, and be willing/able to meet me, but instead I bought a plane ticket, probably because I wanted a vacation anyways, and they both seemed interested in getting together so I went ahead and spent the money, and now I really don't think I should have for the exact reasons I outlined in my email.

Today I forgot that the girls have dentist appointments. I had the appointments in my phone, I thought I put the reminders in, and I confirmed the appointments with the receptionist last Thursday when I took Jane in to see the pediatrician, and I have no excuse other than I forgot which is lame. But again, that's not the real problem. I need a better organizational system so I don't forget about appointments. My little sister suggested a calendar in the kitchen, and I think it's worth trying. Right now I feel discouraged. I think this is very normal, but it doesn't change how I feel. There's been a lot going on in my life recently, as is true of most of the people I know.

Good things that have happened on the business side of things: I got a public shout out on KWBTV. That was unexpected and super cool. I picked up a couple new followers, and hopefully that will help educate them. I booked a flight to Dallas, and I have the potential to meet up with people I'd like to get to know better. If no one shows, I can sit and relax by the pool beneath the sun. It can be a 39th birthday present to myself, and I think the sunshine alone will do me a world of good. Several people are helping me put together a business plan. This is the kind of thing I can't do, so I respect and admire those that can. Two friends of mine think that this has a much wider application than I initially realized which was good to hear.

A friend bought my GoDaddy account for me so I now have my very first domain. I put together a mission statement that was better than anything I've written in the past, but still needs some refinements. Still, I'm proud of my progress, and I'm really excited about the quality of the people that I've been able to attract. Sometimes I get scared about the level of knowledge I possess, but I keep reminding myself that everyone makes mistakes, and I can't expect myself to know everything. Even starting conversations that lead to debate will raise awareness so that's not a bad thing either. Another mood booster came from a coach that originally asked what a shoe consult was.

Without him I wouldn't own my own company so I owe him a debt of gratitude, and I probably should have booked a flight to Washington to go see him and his team, but I chose the way that I did, and I'm actually confident that I can go to Texas, not meet anyone, and still be able to turn that trip into a success. Other cool things, my friend down in Florida keeps introducing me to people. She's been a fantastic cheerleader as has my friend down in Austin, Texas that I'm hoping I'll be able to meet. Things are really fine. Jane is feeling better. I made my bed and put clean sheets on them the other night. I cleaned my room and went through my clothes, that's something I've been wanting to do for a long time, and I took a hamper over to my condo so that was another thing off of my to do list.

My pharmacist friend out on the East Coast sent some positive vibes my way after he read my mission statement, and my friend in Toronto has been emailing me despite being very depressed himself. I'm down to $525 worth of medical bills, and I can not wait until those things are paid off. I could have used the money I spent on airfare to travel there, but I didn't, and it wouldn't have covered them all anyways so there is that. The other day I watched a wonderful David Foster Wallace video that really helped me remember that sometimes things are so obvious, and right in front of me, and I forget them because they're so simple, and I lack perspective.


Am now writing this after I've returned from work, and I think a lot, but sometimes I'm thinking when I should be doing, but sometimes I let the kids in After School Care be a little crazy because it's a long day for the kids, and they need time to be silly. The kindergarten teacher was talking to two parents out in the hall, and I was proud of myself for taking some time to make their days a bit brighter because what kids really need is people to be interested in them, and excited about the things that they're doing whether it's playing with puppets or gluing yarn on construction paper. Today I told the woman who works upstairs that she didn't have to come in tomorrow as Fridays are usually low enrollment days.

Most Fridays I let the kids play for an hour or so before we come back for snack. I found a recipe for microwave popcorn that the kids can do themselves, and it's so much cheaper than the store bought kind, and the kids feel really empowered when they're clutching their brown bags out in the hall. They feel important when I let them go into the custodian's room to pop popcorn, and some parents laugh when I say that we need to take a field trip down the hall, but the kids know what I mean, and when you're a kid, even the idea of going into an unfamiliar room that you're normally not allowed into can be fun and exciting if someone else believes that you're responsible enough to grab some rags to clean off the desks.

I haven't done it in a while, but I used to bring essential oils into class, and I taught the kids how to dry their hands using only one paper towel, and today we sang Christmas songs, and the kindergarten teacher let the little kids pick out which songs they wanted, and the Pre-K teacher read them a book, and it was so cute to see the kids laying on the carpet listening to her, and hearing what they got out of the book was cool too, and sometimes, I forget about these small moments that make up the days of our lives because most history and memories aren't huge events although those can be historical too, but I want to remember the chilled cheeks, and my daughter reading the story of the blind seal, and the pictures I took of a couple kids surfing on top of my cart because some day I want those kids to look back on their time in After School Care as fun, and not just the same old day in, and day out routine.

Jane stayed home today, another couple of years and she'll be a teenager. Jill will be thirteen in May, and I think to myself, why wasn't I more involved in their lives when they were the ages of the kids I watch daily? And then I'm so thankful that I have daylogs to go back to, and I tell myself that I'm going to write more about what they're doing because they're totally cool kids with myriad gifts, and I laugh at myself for ever worrying that my kids would be dumb, or what kind of grades they were going to bringing home on their report cards, because that really just isn't that important in life, and I do what I can to help my oldest get her homework done, but I can't live her life for her, and the older she gets, the more her decisions will affect her life so why don't we stop stepping in at school with threats of expulsion because that isn't addressing the root problem anyways.


Last night I had a great conversation with someone who believes in me, and pushes me to live up to my full potential. So this morning I had an opportunity to tweet at a guy I recommended he follow, and that led to another opportunity which I took advantage of, and it was so simple and small, but it has the potential to be huge, and even if it doesn't go where it could, I'm proud of myself for handling it the way that I did because I believe in people, and I cater to an intelligent audience who doesn't need to get beaten over the head before they grasp an idea. So anyways, there's my up and down day which is pretty much like most of my days, and I'll probably never learn how to be one of those even keeled people who doesn't experience high highs, or very low lows, but whatever. I'm myself, and I love that about me.

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