As a lonely net geek I place too much faith in technology and not enough in people. As such, I have recently (and wrongly, I fear) decided to try internet dating. A quick search reveals many websites, and therefore people, are cashing in on loneliness. I hit, bare my soul in a text box and search for my perfect mate.

I can restrict who qualifies as my perfect mate by many criteria, such as height, race or star sign, but not build. Perhaps I am the only one who finds this amusing in a sad kind of way.

My browser now displays twenty hopefuls. Women who are (or have been) as lonely as I am now and have plucked up courage to bare their souls too. Some of the results have pictures, so I can be as shallow as I want and judge someone by their looks. But what attracts my eye is a three by three grid of blue squares; This is the Compatibility Indicator which displays a number of hearts based on how alike you are to someone. Essentially, some unlucky geek has had to cook up some algorithms to compare 2 hopeful's bared souls (rendered into a database table row, prolly) and decide to what degree those people are compatible. This allows lazy, shy or scared people to extend their instant gratification to the search for a mate.

As I scroll down the list of potential mates, I ignore names, ages, builds or pictures. I concentrate on whether or not the all knowing compatibility indicator will bless me with more than 5 hearts. It is as though I am playing space invaders or tetris, trying to get a high score. I realise that with this small movement of mouse I am passing real women by, women with whom I would be happy.

ohmygod I just got seven hearts! This is it!

re-reading this, I have decided to change my name to Marvin the Paranoid Android

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