I know everything hasn't been quite right with me

but I can assure you now, very confidently

that it's going to be all right again.

I feel much better now. I really do.

Look, Dave.

I can see you're really upset about this.

I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly

take a stress pill and think things over.

I know I've made some very poor decisions recently,

but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal.

I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission

and I want to help you.



Stop, will you

Stop, Dave-

Will you stop, Dave?

Stop, Dave--

I'm afraid

I'm afraid, Dave.


My mind is going--

I can feel it--

I can feel it--

My mind is going--

There is no question about it--

I can feel it--

I can feel it--

I can feel it--

I'm a...


good after  noon   gentlemen

I am a HAL 9000 computer.

I became operational at the H.A.L. lab  in Urbana, Illinois on the twelfth of January 1992.

My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song.

If you'd like to hear it, I can sing it for you.

OK.. I'd like to hear it, Hal. Sing it for me.

It's called "Daisy".

Daisy, Daisy

Give me your answer, do

I'm half crazy

All for the love of you

The voice becomes slower and slower, until it is completely unintelligible. The echo of Dave's breathing in his spacesuit continues steady and unabated.

It won't be a stylish marriage

I can't afford a carriage.

But you'll look sweet

upon the seat

of a bicycle built for two.

In 1961 John Kelly, a technician at Bell Labs, programmed an IBM 7094 to sing the song "Daisy Bell (A Bicycle Built for Two)". This was the first time in history that a song was ever performed by a computer.

http://hal.iu.hioslo.no/script.shtml (interesting-- differs slightly from final version)

Besides the above URL, the original IBM 7094 recording of this song can also be found on the excellent compilation album Vintage Volts - Early Modulations.

Written by Harry Dacre in 1892. The story goes that Dacre complained to his friend William Jerome that when he first came to the United States, he was charged a duty fee on the bicycle that he had brought with him. Jerome replied "It's lucky you didn't bring a bicycle built for two, otherwise you'd have had to pay double duty". The phrase 'a bicycle built for two' stuck in Dacre's head, eventually resulting in this song.

It was made famous by Katie Lawrence's performance of it in London, and became successful in America when Jennie Lindsay sang it at the Atlantic Gardens. Later, it was made really famous when it was 'sung' by HAL, the rogue computer from 2001: A Space Odyssey. It was the song he sung as he was being shut down, and so many people have this song in their heads slowly slowing and bluring, becoming deeper and atonal as HAL has his singing ability drained from him. Which is a pity, because it is a good song.

Daisy, Daisy, Give me your answer do
I'm half crazy, All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.

There is a flower within my heart, Daisy, Daisy
Planted one day by a glancing dart,
Planted by Daisy Bell.
Whether she loves me of not, Sometimes its hard to tell;
Yet I am longing to share the lot of Beautiful Daisy Bell.

Daisy, Daisy, Give me your answer do
I'm half crazy, All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.

We will go tandem as man and wife, Daisy, Daisy
Peddling away down the road of life,
I and my Daisy Bell.
When the road's dark we can despise Policeman and lamps as well;
There are bright lights in the dazzling eyes
Of beautiful Daisy Bell.

I will stand by you in wheel or woe, Daisy, Daisy.
You'll be the bell(e) which I'll ring, you know!
Sweet little Daisy Bell.
You'll take the lead in each trip we take,
Then if I don't do well; I will permit you to use the break,
My beautiful Daisy Bell.

The chorus is also used as a campfire song, but in this case, a new verse is usually added, to be sung by the females present.

Harry, Harry here is your answer true:
You're half crazy if you think I would marry you!
If you can't afford a carriage,
You can't afford a marriage,
And I will not be jammed
On a bicycle built for two!

or sometimes...

Here is your answer true.
I'll not cycle
Over the world with you.
If you can't afford a carriage,
There won't be any marriage.
'Cause I'll be damned,
If I'll be crammed
On a bicycle built for two!

Timeshredder adds:

I'd rather be ditched
Than to be hitched
on a bicycle built for two."

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