For your enlightenment
The Cunnilingus FAQ
in five sections
Cunnilingus FAQ: Section One
Cunnilingus FAQ: Section Two
Cunnilingus FAQ: Section Three
Cunnilingus FAQ: Section Four
Cunnilingus FAQ: Section Five
Section 1 - the original usenet FAQ
Eating a woman's pussy is about the most wonderful thing you can do for
her. It makes her feel loved, admired, sexy, and of course it makes her
cum like crazy. Many women prefer it to intercourse, and for most, it is
the easiest way to cum with a man. You may have the littlest dick on the
planet, but if you give great head, you will be appreciated as a fabulous
lover. Yes, it's that important. Besides, lots of women expect it these
days - you might as well know what you're doing.
First off, guys seem to have a strange love/hate relationship with women's
genitalia. Guys that can't wait to get their dick into one are often
reluctant to put their face "down there". For every guy who says he loves
to eat pussy, there's another one who's squeamish. Women know this, and it
affects their ability to lay back and enjoy the experience. There is
nothing more exciting to a woman than to know that her partner finds her
delicious. Don't be coy; tell her. When a guy fingers a lady and then
smells, licks, sucks the juice off his finger and sighs as if in heaven,
she knows this is her lucky day.
What if your sweet lady doesn't smell or taste very sweet? Don't suffer.
(Don't complain, either.) Take a nice hot shower or bath together. Lather
up both of your bodies and slide them together. It's like a whole body
fuck. Soap up her vulva, washing between her outer and inner lips. Spread
her lips apart and gently wash her clitoris. Hey, don't stop - this feels
great! Run your soapy hand down the crack of her ass, and rub a finger all
around her anus. You can stick one finger in and wash around inside too,
if you anticipate any anal play, and I suggest you do. But don't put those
soapy fingers up her vagina. Instead, rinse them off well and stick one or
two inside, making a circular motion. Think about washing the inside of a
tall glass - same thing. Now wasn't that fun? And now you can feel free to
let your tongue wander anywhere it pleases...
So now what? You've found a comfy spot to play, you've been kissing
passionately, your tongues darting around each other's mouths like playful
otters. You've moved down to nibble one of her hardening nipples and she's
starting to groan, grinding her pelvis against your stomach. STOP. I know
it was just starting to get good. But was she really groaning and humping
you, or was it your own excitement you were detecting? I strongly prefer
to be excited before a guy starts plunging his tongue into my inner
recesses. Use your judgement, and kiss, lick, and fondle your way down her
stomach, up her thighs, until she's arching up her back trying to get you
to eat her. Of course, if she really was groaning and grinding, go for
it... I also don't particularly enjoy a guy endlessly nibbling my inner
thigh while my clit is quivering in anticipation.
If the woman you are with is somewhat hesitant about your going down on
her, start off with her lying on her back, perhaps half-sitting. Lay down
between her legs, with her legs over your shoulders. She may enjoy laying
or sitting at the edge of the bed with you kneeling. She can also straddle
your face, but be prepared to get very wet. There are endless varieties
of positions where you can press your face up to her cunt, some of which
strike me as more acrobatic than erotic, but feel free to experiment. And
then there's 69...
69 is one of my favorite positions. On the plus side, you both get to
enjoy the sublime sensations of getting head, simultaneously. The upside
down positioning of a woman's pussy and your mouth is an easy fit and
there's more room for your hands. On the negative side, it's a less than
ideal position for a woman to give head. Plus, if you need to read this
article, you may be better off concentrating your energies on pleasing
her, without too much distraction. But even for experienced 69'ers, it's
easy to short-change your partner. "It feels soooo good, I'm just gonna
stop for a second and concentrate on what you're...aaaarrrgghhh". Get the
picture? Some show of will-power is in order.
69 can be done male on top, female on top, or side by side. The latter two
are easier, though it's more restful with both partners laying down. Some
women love being licked on all fours, so if female-on-top 69 drives her
wild, take the hint and find some other ways to eat her in this position.
I happen to enjoy male on top, but for many women this is a sure choking
position. If a woman can, or wants to try, to deep throat you, this is THE
position. When her head is thrust back you can really slide your cock all
the way down her throat. But don't forget what you're supposed to
So there you are staring at it - the mysterious hole from whence you
came, and into which you hope to cum again... First, an anatomy
Before I go any further, a few words about the clitoris, accent on the
first syllable. Most of you know it, but for those who don't, it is THE
woman's sex organ, period. It may feel great to be fucked vaginally,
anally or otherwise, but if the stimulation is not right there, on the
clitoris, you're ignoring the place that's going to make her cum, and
presumably that's why you're reading this, right? It's right there at the
top juncture of her inner lips, a small knob of pink flesh. This is where
it's at boys, and don't forget it. Almost any licking and sucking of the
labia or vaginal entrance is going to feel just dandy; just remember that
this is pleasurable teasing, not the main event. I can't tell you how
many guys have thrust their tongues up my vagina thinking that this was
going to make me cum. They were wrong. Of course, with a little manual
stimulation....but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Women feel differently about how much direct stimulation they can take on
their clitoris. Some women will adore it if you suck hard on their exposed
clits, others will shriek in pain. You may encounter a woman who is
completely unable to take direct stimulation of her clit; the goal is
still the same, but you'll have to stimulate it indirectly, such as
through her labia. IMPORTANT NOTE: Often, what is unacceptably rough at
first may be fine after she's very excited. The fact is, most women really
need a good bit of stimulation before a targeted attack on their clitoris,
but once they're there, that's where you want to devote your attention.
The key here is go slow, ask questions, and if she's comfortable with it,
leave the lights on and really explore. Body language often does tell what
feels best, but I promise, she will appreciate your attentiveness if you
ask outright. If she seems shy, get her to guide your hands and mouth with
her own hand, and pay attention. If she starts bucking up against your
mouth and gasping in ragged little breaths, for God's sake, don't use this
opportunity to try something different. Just keep doing exactly what
I want to reiterate, there is almost nothing you can do that won't feel
terrific, so relax! I promise, you may be confused and uncertain, but
she's in heaven. Any licking and sucking of the labia, vaginal entrance,
clitoris, or anal area is going to feel just great, and I'd no sooner tell
guys to "do it exactly like this" than I would tell every chef to follow
the same recipe. But for those who are compelled to RTFM, here are a few
techniques that you might like to try:
- Try lapping her pussy from vaginal entrance up to her clit, leaving
tongue soft and jaw relaxed. This is a good way to start your tonguing.
Run your tongue between the inner and outer labia on one side, while
holding the two together with your lips. Good job, now do the other side.
Fuck her pussy with your tongue - in and out, around and around, etc. This
feels nice. Not wonderful or incredible or earth-shaking; nice.
Spread her outer lips with your hand. Then, with your tongue pointed and
stiff, gently flick here and there. Feel free to roam, but keep coming
back to her clit. This drives some women wild, and others can't take it.
Some may prefer that you always leave your tongue soft, so when you try
this, pay attention to whether those moans are ecstacy or pain.
The following techniques should not be introduced until your partner is
really hot (i.e. she's no longer coherent). These are very intense actions
which may be "too much" for some women, even when nearing orgasm.
With her clit still exposed, give it a quick little suck - pulling it into
your mouth briefly and letting it go. This is a lot like licking a bit of
cake batter off of your pinky. This feels incredible, and is a fine thing
to do if you feel like torturing her (see PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER below).
Take her exposed clit into your mouth and gently (at first, anyway) suck
on it, simultaneously flicking your tongue over and around it. This can be
done very lightly or very aggressively, and combined with fingering, will
usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm.
Another choice technique involves rolling your tongue into a tube. If you
can't do this with your tongue, you can't learn it - it's genetic. For
those who can, this works best in an inverted or 69 position. Roll your
tongue into a tube around the shaft of her clitoris. Slide it up and
down; in effect, your tongue makes a tiny pussy for her clit to fuck. This
also is likely to bring her over the edge.
Fingers are a valuable adjunct to eating pussy. Most women masturbate by
pressing a finger or fingers over their clit, possibly "thru" the skin of
their inner or outer lips, and vigorously rubbing in a circular or
back-and-forth direction. You can do this too, and it is most helpful to
ask, or better yet, have her show you how she likes it done. You will
never be a good lover until you can bring your woman to climax with your
hands. When you fuck her from behind, or up her ass, or really in any
position which doesn't allow her to simultaneously rub her vulva against
your body, reach down or around and rub her clit. I know it's distracting,
but just do it anyway. One important point to note: make sure that your
fingers are well lubricated. There is nothing more uncomfortable (and
sometimes downright painful) than a dry finger roughly rubbed across one's
Of course, that's not all you can do with your fingers. One technique
which is very exciting is to spread her lips wide apart with one hand, and
with your index finger straight like a pencil, flick the side of it
rapidly across her clit. This motion alone will often bring a woman to
orgasm. Combining this with the addition of some tongue action elsewhere
is nothing short of bliss.
Sticking one or more fingers inside her vagina is also wonderful. You can
simply move them in and out (this feels best with at least two or three
fingers, pushed in hard), or wriggling them around. A particularly intense
motion is to face your hand so that you have two fingers inside her with
your palm facing the front of her body. Now move your fingers rapidly, as
if waving hello. You are aiming to stimulate a particular part of the
woman's vagina - namely the lower anterior (front) part. When combined
with sucking her clit, this is nearly certain to bring her to a fast and
An excellent way to begin manual stimulation is to stick one (and later
two) fingers inside her, with your palm cupped over the mons area. I'm
talking about that fleshy "mound" over her pubic bone. Your finger goes in
and out and the ball of your hand is pressed hard against her vulva. You
may want to rub or even shake the entire area with your palm.
Fingers also do nice things to tight little butt holes, but that's a whole
This stuff is purely optional. If anal play doesn't turn you on, don't do
it. If you're uncomfortable, she'll pick up on your feelings and start
wondering if it's her pussy that's turning you off. Don't feel that you
can't be a good lover without anal play; you can.
Cleanliness is of the essence. (remember that nice soapy shower?) Scoop
out some luscious juices (from a very wet pussy) with your finger and rub
it around her anus. (If she isn't well lubricated, saliva works too.) If
that's all you or she feels comfortable with, fine - it still feels great.
But I think most women enjoy the feel of a finger pushed up their ass
while they're being fucked or eaten. You need to be gentle, possibly even
leaving your finger still. Try moving it in and out a little, or around
in a circle. If she starts moaning, you know you're doing something right.
It's really fun to feel a woman's anus rhythmically squeezing your finger
as she cums. (And it's great for her, too) You're probably thinking about
what that would feel like around your dick, and it's something you should
certainly explore. Ass-fucking is somewhat out of the scope of this
article, but suffice to say, if she doesn't like a finger up her butt, she
sure as hell won't want your big dick up there. Even if she does enjoy
this sort of play, she may still be somewhat apprehensive about putting
something so large up there. The keys to success are sufficient (i.e.
copious amounts of) lubrication (a water-soluble type such as K-Y, which
is safe for condoms), relaxation on her part, and a slow, gentle,
approach. She'll certainly tell you if she wants you to thrust harder or
deeper. And remember, if you want to feel that delicious squeezing around
your cock, reach around and diddle that clit!
As for anallingus - why not? Don't feel like you HAVE to do it to satisfy
your woman. But if the idea turns you on, great. Let your tongue rove as
it pleases. It's not necessary to actually put your tongue inside her butt
to stimulate the area. Back and forth, around and around, you get the
One hygiene note: once that finger (or your penis) has been inside her
ass, don't even think about putting it anywhere else. Carelessness in this
regard can cause a horrendous infection.
I haven't met a lot of men who are completely comfortable going down on a
woman when she has her period. But some are. Most women are at their
horniest before and sometimes during their period. You should definitely
find a way to make her cum when she's bleeding, be it thru intercourse,
manual, or oral stimulation. If you feel comfortable going down on her,
great. It's perfectly safe. You may suggest that she insert a tampon, and
then wash up. (As you now know, you don't need to get anywhere near her
vagina to make her cum.) Or you could lay down a few old towels, turn out
the lights, and forget about it.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
I think variety is crucial. Some guy posted an article detailing a road
map of kissing and licking (first here, then here, etc.) Much better to do
the unexpected; sometimes a hungry, aggressive approach, other times a
laid-back, leisurely one. You can even even include your nose, or your
chin into the act. Start slow, that's the key, and let your lover guide
the speed of the crescendo. In all cases, start gently. Roughness and
clumsiness are big turn-offs. As she gets more and more excited, pay more
attention to her clitoris. When she's three breathes away from cumming,
moving your mouth off or away from her clit is agony. That's fine if
you're intentionally torturing her, just understand that this is what you
are doing. The only prohibition is to be reasonably gentle with her clit.
Nibbling or biting is fine elsewhere, but we're talking about a
Speaking of prolonging the agony... I think this is great fun. Bring your
partner just to the edge of orgasm, and stop. This is not easy unless
you really know your lover well. Instead, just have her help you. Say,
"Grab my head and stop me just before you think you're gonna cum." Then
take your sweet time. Blow on her clit, take it into your mouth just
briefly, flick it just the very slightest bit. You will have this woman
squirming and moaning like she's dying. Finger her deeply, enjoy the
ecstasy you are imparting, and finally, have pity. Let the poor woman cum.
UUUUNNNNGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! (or, I'M COMING!!!)
Okay, she's practically suffocating you, she's pressed so hard against
your face; she's screaming and bucking up in the air; you feel her pussy
contracting wildly - how long should you keep it up?? The simple answer
is, until she makes you stop. Some women may stop you after five seconds
from the start of their climax, others may be able to roll right into
another orgasm if you keep going. Do come up for air, but remember, her
excitement does not drop off as sharply as yours does. Play it safe by
continuing the stimulation.
How many times does she need to cum? Some women are very content to have
one orgasm. A whole lot of women would really like to cum again, but need
about five minutes to recoup. Many women are so sensitive right after they
cum that they may push your head violently away. This doesn't necessarily
mean they've had enough, only that you need to stop for a few minutes. In
fact most women, given a short rest between, are capable of cumming again
and again. A smaller percentage of women are able to cum repeatedly with
continued stimulation. This is the much-touted multiple-orgasm that is
experienced by a minority of women. I know this makes it difficult to know
when enough is enough, but there's a simple answer: ask her.
It happens to all of us sometimes - distraction, embarrassment,
anxiety, or just an inability to "let go". What do you do about it? The
first question is, can she easily bring herself to a climax in the privacy
of her own home. If the answer is no - then she needs to do some homework.
There are two books on the subject that I know of: For
Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality by Lonnie Barbach,
for One: The Joy of Selfloving by Betty Dodson; pick up one. Then
tell her to read it, study it, and practice, practice, practice!
Now if your partner is orgasmic only when alone - ask her point blank: "Is
there something different I can do?" Many women are shy about criticizing
their lovers, but if asked outright will surprise you with a very specific
answer. It may be a simple matter of mechanics, like a little to right
please, or not so rough, or more pressure and faster. Ah... perfect.
But suppose everything is wonderful. She says you're doing everything
right but she just can't cum. There are two probable causes: selfconsciousness
and/or self-loathing. For women who can't help watching
themselves, the best approach is to eliminate anything that focuses her
attention on what the two of you are doing. This is a "be here now" kind
of thing - definitely not an introspective activity. Get that mirror off
the ceiling. Dim the lights or turn them off completely. Put on some soft
music. Share a glass of port. (I said A glass - getting drunk will
definitely not help). Have her lay on her back, or propped up comfortably
with some pillows. This is not the time for her to sit on your face, or
the edge of the bed, or standing up against a wall. Arrange a time when
you can devote a long period to eating her pussy, and then just keep it
up. Forget everything I said about asking her questions - just close your
eyes and get into it. I know this can be a difficult and exhausting
exercise, but she will be extravagantly thankful for your efforts. It gets
easier each time. If all else fails, get accustomed to masturbating
together. Gradually begin to add your stimulation to her own, right before
she's about to cum anyway. Over time, you can take over completely.
For women who themselves feel that their cunts are dirty or distasteful,
all of the above methods may be helpful, but the underlying issue must
also be addressed. I am amazed at how many women are ambivalent about
their own genitals. They don't love "that part" of their body, and they
can't believe that you would either. Yes, it is important to be clean. But
clean means a daily shower which includes washing the vulva. It doesn't
mean vainly attempting to remove every trace of smell or taste. The
natural fragrance and secretions of a healthy woman are beautiful and
erotic. Hopefully you agree (and if not, try hard to cultivate this
attitude). When she learns to love her pussy, she will be infinitely more
comfortable with your loving it too.
Cunnilingus FAQ or Cunnilingus FAQ: Section Two