My new office is located within a locked, fenced-in area called "the Cage."
I kid you not.
Apparently, the administration here at the National Library of Medicine is quite concerned that one of its devious employees might be tempted to run off with an 1860 volume on the symptomatology of fatal lung diseases. Or perhaps the Surgeon General's Reports 1925-1990.
I am writing this from prison, comrades.
You can Fed-ex me cartons of cigarettes, if you wish.