"Now that was an eventful day Lass" said Georgie North, "the day that old woman went 'round the maternity wards saying all the children will get killed by the fabric sticher, and then the government making the stitching of fabric in Britain a prison-able offence, and you wonder why Britain's screwed."

"I saw the old wench on me last Birthday" said his daughter Georgina, "she said that she said the same 'bout me when I was born."

"Don't you believe none of it Georgina, she was a crazy old hag."

"Oh Pa, some old nob swagged me purse today, can you find him?"

"Oh sure I can, since the government gave police power to community watches we've been dealing with hoodlums way faster than when I was a lad."

"I read in the Guardian that what some community watches have been doing is like vigilanteism and that they can get things horribly wrong."

"Well at least they do something, unlike the old police."

Georgina went up into her room and looked out the window. The sky was dark blue and the surrounding hills and trees were black. On top of the tallest hill was the local prison, with the light through its windows emerging in the otherwise darkness. It had been very active in supporting the police devolution, unlike other prisons that had gone on strike other it, prisons being one of the few police institutions run entirely by the police these days. Georgina heard an owl hooting, and she rested against the window sill, she was feeling relaxed. But this relaxation was not to last.

She noticed that the light of the windows had increased dramatically, from a warm yellow to a near blinding white light. What was going on thought Georgina, had there been a power surge, was there an explosion going on? Suddenly a fire ball emerged where once there was a prison, the bricks and mortar flying in the air, the whole landscape illuminated, and a tremendous noise. Yes, there definitely was an explosion. Georgina ran down the stairs with all her speed, and caught George already aroused.

"Pa, Pa, the prisons blown up!"

"What the feck, its the prison! Whoever could cause that damage is going to cause more sooner or later, we've got to catch the bugger!"

"I'll run up and see if I can catch him!"

"No daughter of mine is going after some fecking terrorist at this time of night!"

"I'm at the door and I'm leaving now!"

At which the door slammed. George thought that if the perpetrator did kill his daughter, he could avenge it later.

Georgina ran through the night towards the ruins of the prison, a night that was already awakening to what happened. As she ran, she got exhausted, and the energy that had gone into making her scared and angry at what had happened was being pumped into keeping her running. Suddenly she bumped into someone, it was Gary Daniel from school.

"What the hell are you doing 'round her at this time of night?" asked Georgina.

"Oh I'm just having an evening stroll around the fields, what about you?"

"I was trying to catch the terrorist who caused the explosion"

"It was probably a suicide bomber who did it"

"Well, at least I could examine the damage."

"May I join you?"

"Sure, if you can keep up."

As they began jogging towards the prison, Georgina asked Gary.

"So what was all that about being the king of goblins?"

"Oh that was a meaningless expletive to freak a few people out for the fun of it"

"Fair enough."

When they reached the ruins, it was very eerie, there was no building left other than than the south wall, and there were no bodies, except a few charred arms. Georgia was getting creep-ed out, and began shivering. Gary turned to her, and took out some clothes from behind his back.

"You look cold, you could do with a few more layers" suggested Gary.

"Okay then Gary... where did you get this, a balaclava and a jumper."

"Oh I made them myself from carpet clippings"

"Really, you know you could get arrested for that."

"Well life's to short to play it safe all the time."

They looked up at the remains of the southern wall, whilst it was the only wall remaining, it had been levelled to a mere 7 feet.

"You know, I could jump over that ruin" suggested Gary.

"Oh come on Gary, no one could do that" said Georgina, who was now wearing Gary's work.

"Watch me."

With that he ran up to the wall and jumped into the sky, and he managed to scale the wall by just a centimetre.

"Wow, that was impressive Gary!"

"There he is!" cried an unknown voice.

When Georgina turned her back, the community watch, or more appropriately lynch mob, was meters behind her.

"Gary, you've set me up you cowardly bustard! When I get my hands on yaaaahh......."

"That's the one, that's the one" cried the unknown voice "that's the one who blow up our home with his laser beam that melted in his evil hands!"

"I get the picture you demented prick!" shouted George "Now whose under that mask."

When he saw his daughters face he was shaken.

"You did this!"

"It wasn't me it was prince of fecking goblins Gary!"

"It was her, it was her, who sent the light so hot it turned the air to plasma that did bang!" cried the unknown voice.

"Oh give it a rest you twanker!" swear-ed Georgina

"Now then now then!" proclaimed the mob leader "Lets just ask our post-traumatic witness, sir, was the man with plasma-laser thing in the building or in a building near the village?"

"Oh the heat oh the heat oh the heat!" whimpered the witness.

"In which case" proclaimed the mob leader "we'll put her in liquid nitrogen we got from York university and if shes innocent we'll wake her up and if shes guilty we keep her there."

"What!" shouted Georgina "this is a fecking outrage! I hope amnesty international get you for this!"

She kept shouting similar obscenities as they dragged her to the water mill at the bottom of the hill, and as they dropped her with stones on her feet into the liquid Nitrogen. In the end, Gary got away, no one else saw the prison blow up, and the only witness had been driven mad beyond repair. So Georgina stayed there, as history moved on and the world changed and changed some more.



Sometime in the future, a Goblin and a Wizard, a Soldier and a Pirate, were hanging around the beach they had fought on three days ago. Pirate and Wizard were siblings, not genetic siblings but they had been raised by the same parents. Goblin was something of a pet, having been grown in a cave and given to them as an additional warrior, but who seemed to prefer butchery rather than fighting. Soldier was essentially 5 horseless carriage factory machines from the age of wizards that had gained collective sentience and been fused together, and whom Wizard had fitted out in Knights armor. The four of them were at the beach they had been asked to invade as part of a greater mission to regain control of a magical device and end the Resistance to their peoples rule.

"This is getting boring" complained Pirate.

"The General isn't going to hold us back for more than two further days" said Wizard.

At that moment an arrow with a message fell on the sand.Wizard picked it up and began reading it to the others.

"'The General has ordered you to conquer the frozen monastery ten miles south east from here, it is not that heavily defended but contains the living bodies of peoples of the age of wizards, who will be of major importance in our campaign', so taking out a monastery and waking up some cadavers, seems quite easy."

"There's probably some catch like its got a Dragon defending it" complained Pirate.

"Don't worry, although I think we should leave Goblin to pile up the fallen's arms."

Goblin, who was slicing away at an arm with a cutlass, ignored Wizard.

After a trek to the Monastery, the trio noticed two sentinels and hid from them behind a rampart.

"Okay" whispered Wizard "I put a spell on them, you two kill them, then wait for me to wake up and we can sought out the cadavers."

At this point, Wizard waved his weirdly jewel hands and both the sentinels weapons became stuck to each other, at which point Wizard collapsed. As the sentinels tried to pull their weapons from each other, Pirate charged at them bearing a sabre and a rod, but the sentinels had pulled their weapons apart by the time Pirate got there. Pirate held off the two of them, whilst Soldier lurched towards them, with his long sword spinning faster and faster. The sentinels thought they were gaining, but when they saw Soldier.

"Oh dear! Not one of the...ahhh!" cried the sentinels as Soldier churned through their flesh and bone.

With the sentinels dead, Pirate and Soldier thought they had completed the first half of their mission, but then they saw it. Then they saw the Dragon, with its Crock like head and body, its Swan like neck, and its Bat like wings. First it fired the magic pulses, and Soldier collapsed on the floor. Pirate, fearing the almost inevitable flow of acid that was about to follow kneel-ed down and whispered.

"Maximan, Maximan, Maximan!"

Suddenly, without any expectation, a Maximan appeared, running tall at 8 foot and fast at 12 meters a second. As the Dragon flew down low to aim its acid, Maximan jumped forward 30 feet towards the Dragon, in a way that made it appear that it was flying. It landed on the back of the Dragon and began delivering punches. The Dragon bit back, and a wrestling match began in the sky. Eventually the duo began to fall downwards, and crash into the ground. Were they both dead, alive, or something in between. Pirate did not want to find out. At this stage Wizard was beginning to regain consciousness, and Pirate dragged him into the building.

After getting past the monks and positioning themselves in the cellar for so many hours, Wizard and Pirate came to understand that there was only one frozen body there.

"Cripes, they've sent us to some dump, they should survey these places more thoroughly" complained Wizard.

"We should reawaken this one, I mean, whatever it is its very beautiful" suggested Pirate.

"Oh very well, not like its going to be of much use."

Pirate began to break open the container, and the two of them were jumping trying to avoid the freezing liquids. After that, Wizard began caressing the living statue, carefully defrosting the body whilst repairing ice damage using his magical abilities. After it was defrosted, Wizard fell backwards onto a pre prepared ice free patch and Pirate caught the body. He then began practicing what we would call cardiovascular procedure, including mouth to mouth resuscitation. As the body began to regain consciousness, it noticed that there was someone doing stuff to it. Suddenly it jolted back into action and began attacking Pirate.

"You twanker, you froze me twat!"

"I didn't freeze you I've just met you!" cried Pirate as Pirate tried to restrain this person.

"Then you think you can start snogging me and...What, why were you looking for me!"

"You're from the age of wizards..."

"Whats the hells the age of wizards!"

"The archaic name for it is the 21st century."

"What the feck! What fecking year is this!"

"I don't know, all I can say is welcome to the Neo-Fantasy age!"







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