When used as a sex lube, Crisco is superior to water based sex lubes because:

1) it doesn't dry up during sex
2) it doesn't clump as it dries
3) it's cheaper by far
4) it lasts longer
5) it serves the dual purpose of sex lube and kitchen essential




A friend of mine bought a man-made vagina at one point and was looking to buy more lube, as the tube of lube that came with the original packaging ran out. (Gee, I wonder how that ran out so fast...) I had read somewhere that Crisco makes for an excellent substitute of AstroGlide, and jokingly suggested that he buy some at the grocery store and try it out. He actually did this, and told me that Crisco works great. Appearantly you only need a small amount of Crisco (compared to his previous lube) to get the job done, because oil is slick and can be spread very thin. The catch is that now, whenever we're near a kitchen that smells of vegetable oil, he gets a boner. Imagine being turned on by Crisco...

Crisco was originally created by Procter & Gamble as a kosher substitute for lard. It was advertised to Jewish cooks and delis with booklets of kosher baked good recipes. It became so popular that word spread to the goyim crowd about its many uses. It has never gained a toehold in markets outside of America, however.

As of late 2002, Crisco is owned and sold by the Smuckers company.

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