To start off, I'm not going to try to defend all conservatives or all Republicans who say that they're Christians. I don't know them, and I certainly don't know their hearts. I can't say any more than you can if they are truly Christians or not. So I'll just try to show how you can be a Christian and a conservative and not necessarily a hypocrite.
One of your points was that conservative politics are not tolerant, and therefore not Christian. Tolerance (upper-case "T") isn't the same thing as tolerance (lower-case "t"), and it hasn't been for a long time. It's a political code word for moral relativism. I believe in certain guidelines for human behavior. Not because I'm a killjoy, not because I want to stick my nose into other people's business, but because that's how God says we should live our lives, because those things are destructive to other people and/or the person doing them. You're correct in pointing out that love is a fundamental tenet of Christianity. If my brother is destroying himself with drugs, the un-loving thing to do would be to say "Go and do your own thing, it's none of my business." Just because I don't have the same beliefs as someone else doesn't mean I'm not showing them love.
You seem to be very mad at how Republicans treat liberals, saying that they always attack their character. But you're doing the very same thing right now. You talk about the love and compassion of Christianity, but, you're being hostile and venomous towards conservatives at the same time. Politics can bring out the worst in us, so we should remove the plank in our own eye before pointing out the speck of sawdust in our brother's.
Before I go on I think it should be pointed out that most of these things you brought up are your own opinions, and a lot of times vary from what the vast majority of mainstream Christians think. We all have our own flawed beliefs. I'm sure that sometimes, maybe a lot of times, I misinterpret or misunderstand the Bible, but I'll bet you do too. You seem to be implying that anyone who doesn't agree with your politics isn't a Christian; I think that's really unfair, and, well, intolerant.
Your next point was about homosexuality. You said that you don't believe that God would send His son to die for us only to abandon someone because they're gay. I don't believe that either; God doesn't abandon anyone, ever. I'm living proof. If God were anything like us He would have given up on me a long time ago. God loves everybody unconditionally. That means He loves the prostitute and the self-righteous prig just as much as Mother Teresa and Billy Graham. But just because God doesn't abandon somebody doesn't mean that they're without sin.
I won't get into a long debate here about homosexuality being a sin. sfc and VT_hawkeye have defended that position pretty well over at homosexuality as a sin. I'll just point out that the majority of Christians believe it is. Not out of hate, or some arbitrary rule, but because the Bible says that is it. God created sexuality, and He knows when it's constructive and when it's destructive. I don't hate gays, Christianity tells me I should love them as much as Jesus does; but that doesn't mean I have to adopt their political and social worldview.
"Sin results in pain and God’s boundaries are there for our protection. God wants control of our lives because he knows we will shipwreck them otherwise. He’s not some cosmic killjoy; He cares deeply about our happiness." - Julie Roys
"We are half-hearted creatures fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea." - C.S. Lewis
Your next point was about the death penalty. You questioned if it was really the Christian thing to do; after all, it's ending a human life. Quizro raised a great question in Do all soldiers go to hell?. He asked "...isn't war itself a sin? ... Terrible things happen in [the world] that demand a response . They may not be the kind of responses we would like; we may in fact end up doing things for which, I think, we should justifiably ask forgiveness of our God. But the alternative (leaving innocent civilians undefended against a marauding enemy, for example) may be to fall deeper into sin." I think the same can apply to this issue. President Bush has said that he supports the death penally because he believes that it's a deterrent—that it keeps even more people from being killed—and that if he believed it wasn't then he wouldn't support it.
Your last major point was about charity. Welfare is not charity, it's a government handout. Charity is from the heart, not given out of compulsion. What if I think that Welfare is abused and mis-managed? What if I think that a program like Workfare empowers people and helps them more? Does that mean that I hate needy people and want to see them suffer while I horde my huge paycheck? No, that just means that I think Welfare is abused and mis-managed and a program like Workfare empowers and helps people more. It doesn't mean I don't support other forms of helping people, like private charities or church programs. You're jumping to a lot of conclusions about people's motives when all you see is their actions. I think you're making a lot of incorrect assumptions.