you treat me like a
goddess –
on my
altar of safety-pins and
blood-spilled-in-place-of-tears
why do you
lay myrrh and frankencense
at my feet?
when all I want is for
you
to be happy and safe.
locked away from things
that could hurt you
or
scare
you.
like me.
i don’t ever
want you to see me
as I was.
staring back from a broken
mirror (alice in her fucked-up wonderland)
not knowing if the blood would stop its
soothing
dripdripdrip
onto the bathroom carpet
not caring, really.
you made me promise
not to hurt myself
but it’s so hard to stop
the eternal
examinations
and questions
and furious
incredulity.
why do you love me?
i don’t deserve you.
don’t deserve this new temple
that you built out of
roses
and kisses
and whispers.
i want it, though.
with all of my heart
my mind just won’t let me accept it.
i know that I love you.
i know why.
because you’re
starsunmoonlight
and everything that I wish I could be.
i know that you love me.
but why?