Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel

"Some folks'll never eat a skunk,
But then again some folk'll,
Like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel!"

Simpsons character, full name Cletus Spuckler, stereotyped white trash. Lives with or possibly married to Brandine. Father of Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Kaitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Q-Bert, Phil. Has exquisite handwriting.

Some folk'll never lose a toe
But then again some folk'll
like Cletus the slack-jawed yokel.

(Offering a pair of boots found on a telephone wire:) "Hey Brandine. Ya might could wear these to your job interview."
Brandine: An' scuff up the topless dancin' runway? Naw. Ya best brang 'em back where from ya got 'em.
Cletus (hanging the boots back on the wire): "Here's for a woman of less discriminatin' taste."

Sometimes I think to myself, "perhaps Cletus is the new Prophet." Cletus brings us a message of simplicity in an otherwise confusing time. His philosphy of "less is more" leads his followers to believe that one day road kill will be safe for everyone to eat. A foolish Utopian belief? Perhaps, yet the simple folk are the true warriors of tommorrows high-tech battlefield. In the not to distant future the leadership values of Cletus, Pooh Bear and Jim Varney shall lead an enlightened world into a new age of afternoon naps and circular logic topped off with fatty foods served from an aerosol container.