The Church of the SubGenius is the perfect mystery religion
in one sense: the people who join it are, by defintion, not fit to belong to it. The only real SubGenii
are the people who do not actually sign up.
How can this be? Well, without trying to give away too much from the Book of the SubGenius, a SubGenius is characterized by slack. Slack is, more or less, the ability to get what you want without trying. People with slack can use it to get money, food, sex, whatever, from people who lack it. Of course, one must always beware false slack, the hollow sense of belonging and power that comes from expensive cars and country club memberships.
If you want to become an official member of the Church of the SubGenius, all you have to do is send $20 to the Rev. Ivan Stang. You will receive, in return, a packet of photocopied stuff costing about $3, including postage.
Get it? When you join the Church, you fork over $17 for...nothing--nothing, that is, except the ability to go around and say, "see, now I'm part of this group." Basically, you've just paid out for a version of a country club membership--a kind of false slack! You idiot--you're not a SubGenius at all--you're a pink or maybe even a bobbie!
Well, maybe not you personally. But remember, the only real SubGeniusis an unofficial SubGenius. Keep your money--and your slack--to yourself.