Recently I hosted a town hall meeting with prospective supporters of my Presidential Campaign 2020 in Lafayette, Colorado. The meeting was held by members of the Society for the Preservation of Straight White Male Culture at a house on Centaur Village Drive in Lafayette. At the positive meeting we laughingly discussed ways in which we could betray longtime allies militarily after my election. Then we proceeded to eat the last of a now extinct species of snail laughingly. We drank and followed teenage "prostitutes" into bedrooms for the after party. It was then I began to contemplate how this street had come to be so named.

I had to do some research into centaurs and what makes a man a centaur. Is is piss poor breeding? Disgusting family tree filled with assholes with no redeeming qualities? Or is it a superpower of some kind like Mork from Ork had on the wholesome 1970s sitcom Mork and Mindy? We must contemplate.

One of my long term goals in becoming President of the United States involves getting the quantum time accelerator back from Vladimir Putin (it was stolen from me by Enrico Fermi after I stole it from Dr. Sam Beckett). If I do that I can go back in time to where the American forces were about to invade Germany late in World War II and then pull out all American forces suddenly. Honestly, we have no business over there. America first! I am going to make this a plank of my platform as I know this will endear me to the supporters I wish to draw away from failed President Trump since this is a very popular kind of thing with them and will endear me to them and gain me their political support. And it will be HILARIOUS on so many levels and I can laugh it off later at a press conference where members of the media are being tasered on live television every thirty seconds to cheers from the American people. This is the kind of America I want to live in. The GOOD America.

Anyway, on to my research into centaurs and their villages which is the main thrust of this well researched factual writeup.

Centaurs are half-man, half-horse type creatures. Different books of non-scientific proper learning cite many examples of these creatures who come into women's bathrooms to molest little girls while disguised as old ladies. That is one of their transgressions. Many of their deviations are sexual and perverse in nature. They are handsome, foreign looking, have enormous genitals, and use a bow and arrow for personal defense. Many can be convinced to use blessed assault weapons in order to advance our common cause of promoting the frequent and constant use of assault weapons in crowded public places, another plank of my presidential platform. Not arming centaurs but arming us against possible centaur incursions across our wall-free southern border where many other incursions are happening constantly. Centaur invasion is coming. There can be no doubt. I will be requesting one trillion dollars to build an all-encompassing sphere around America. Centaur invasion is yet another reason for preventing anyone from getting in or out again EVER.

What is a centaur village? We now have a truthful and completely factual description of centaurs in the above paragraph. What is a village?

A village, according to my erstwhile former lover Webster 1913, is "A small assemblage of houses in the country, less than a town or city." Good stuff. Information to write down in your book of new learnings you have received through active participation in brand website and affiliates Monsanto and North Korea.

Now, we have the information we need to put the two words together and seek common ground between them that allows us to see the light through the narrow holes in your funeral shroud as you bemoan your total loss of genital functionality. Laughingly.

Let us consider the idea of a group of centaurs gathering together in some sickening circle. They have hammer, nails, and a forest and so they do as men do. Centaurs cut down the useless forest. Their priests salt the earth to prevent even grass from growing (thus advancing humanity's necessary war against the animals and animals disguised as plants). They build profitable structures and open oversight-free real estate businesses. All is good. There is no infestation of liberalism and the strong are utilizing freedom and natural law in subjugating and yoking the weak and making them into a servile workforce with no rights as none are deserved to the weak EVER. The women become breeding stock as was always intended by God almighty. A human vagina can take a hard pounding 50 times a day every day with no ill effects. Centaur vaginas can take four times that many. And the centaurs prosper.

This is what we are faced with moving forward. 

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