I was looking for a good computer game to use
for
Driver Education Classes at our local
Sunday School. I looked for reviews of
driving
games on the web, and they all said that
Carmageddon was
fnordthe best driving game available.
And it did have
a nice Bible-ey sounding name,
so I bought a copy and gave it a try! Well at
first, I was a bit worried about it, because
there was a lot of
car crashes and stuff, so
I was not really sure that it would be suitable.
Also, there were
zombies staggering around all
over the place. Now
zombies are DEVIL SPAWN, so
I thought it was a pretty good idea to run them
over! And they did make
a satisfying squishy
sound and green
ichor splattered out all over
the place.
So I played it for about 16 hours,
and I thought that it might not really be
suitable for Driver Ed Class. So I went back to
the web. Then I found out that there was a
patch
for Carmageddon, so I
downloaded and installed it.
To my horror, I found that the
Devil Spawn Zombies
had been replaced by
REAL PEOPLE, and
CUTE PUPPY
DOGS! And when I accidentally ran one over, REAL
BLOOD CAME OUT! AND THEN THE
TYRE TRACKS OF THE
CAR WERE ALL BLOODY!
So I played it for about
14 hours more, and I was DISGUSTED! You people
are
SICK if you think it's fun to run over people,
and
cute fluffy puppy dogs! The people GET DOWN ON
THEIR
KNEES AND
BEG YOU NOT TO RUN THEM OVER AND
I BET YOU STILL DO! And then you get
MONEY for
killing innocent people! Well let me tell you,
there is only one person who gives you MONEY for
killing INNOCENT people and that's
THE DEVIL!
So when you are playing Carmageddon,
YOU ARE
DOING THE DEVIL'S WORK!!1! And then my friend's
six-year-old
nephew played it for six hours, and
he thought it was
FUN which shows how the game
can
CORRUPT THE YOUTH OF AMERICA!!!!1 But that
night he woke up screaming "
DON'T LET THE BAD MAN
RUN ME OVER!".
So I think that
Carmageddon should be BANNED, and
then the
software company should have to make another
patch, that stops the cars from going over 30 miles
per hour in town areas. Some of those cars go OVER
200 MILES PER HOUR! In out-of-town areas, the cars
should be limited to 55 miles per hour. Also, if a
car goes through a
stop sign, the
police should pull
them over and give them a
ticket. And if there is an
accident, the drivers should all have to stop and
talk about it. AND
NO MORE RUNNING PEOPLE OVER! The
game should have the cars STOPPING FOR THE PEDESTRIANS,
and giving them yummy candy. And then when the patch is
finished, it should be
MANDATORY for EVERYBODY to install
the patch and play the game again, as the game SHOULD
HAVE BEEN IN THE FIRST PLACE! Then the game would be
A LOT MORE
FUN!
So everybody please contact the
government and INSIST
that Carmageddon gets BANNED because it is
EVIL and
SICK and the WORK OF THE DEVIL! Then let's all contact
the
software company and force them to make another
patch to make the game a proper
fun game and suitable
for the kiddies. We have to stop this sort of EVIL
INFLUENCE from spreading
NOW, before it's TOO LATE!