Really, let's just say auf wiedersehen, because I detest long goodbyes.

Wait, what am I saying? I love long goodbyes. I love standing on train platforms in the 1930's wearing Cuban heels and waving perfume-scented handkerchiefs. I love holding hands for hours in a crowded airport, waiting for that final au revoir, only to find out that my flight has been delayed and that means one more kiss and one more softly whispered "I love you."

And, of course, I love getting really, really drunk.

New York, I hardly knew ye. Or rather, I knew you too well, like a lover affair gone cold wherein my god, she is beautiful, but when she opens her mouth I’d rather be undergoing open-heart surgery. That is my New York City, my Times Square, my Greenwich Village, my East River, my Central Park, my Brooklyn, my Queens and, by golly, even my Upper West Side.

I'm closing the book on day-long walks through the mean streets of Manhattan, on endless nights at familiar pubs where none of us can shut up so we all walk away knowing too much, on bongs in Brooklyn, on fire escape parties, on 3 a.m. subway rides, on the Chinatown Bus, on Sunset Park and Sunnyside, on stealing all of your cigarettes (you know who you are) and so on and so forth.

Yeah, boo hoo. I got some big plans so quit yer blubberin'.

So this is for those of you who would rather be wanking than working; for those of you who know that if you’re not injecting smack directly into your retina with a quill still attached to an AIDS-infected porcupine, you’re just not hardcore; and especially for Big Red and the man people love to pull, yru, the former noder known as Enrique, my bitches and hos, and my three favorite sort-of fled noders.

Well, actually, it's for me, but I hope you get really, really drunk, because you wouldn’t let me go without saying goodbye, would you?

On Saturday, June 26, I’m going to party and I suggest...nay, I demand that you accompany me lest I be forced to drink all this liquor alone. I was going to hit up the Big Apple one last time, but then I found out that my favorite restaurant cum bar closed down when I wasn't looking. All good things, eh?

So, instead, we are going to pub crawl around Sunnyside and Woodside: We are going to crawl from mid-afternoon until wasted-o-clock like motherfuckers and then some, and we are starting the madness squarely at 1 p.m. Oh yeah, there will also be food and whatever else good people care to donate to the cause. (hint hint.)

WANT TO KNOW MORE? Pub number one will be The Foggy Dew at 49-10 Skillman Avenue in Woodside (near 49th Street, I believe). If you'll be moseying in sometime during the afternoon, you'll want to give a buzz to find out where we'll be. msg me with your number and I'll msg you with mine.

Drunken hos:

Puritanical biznatches:

  • joes3029 must be excused on account of being on the other side of this planet, but sends all the best, and his salutations to all who can attend
  • 256: This puritanical biznatch requests to be excused fo' he be 3500 miles away.
  • mkb says blarg! can't make it!
  • lovejoyman: am pissed that there is no way in hell i (w/ the mighty Vix in tow) can make it to NYC to meet/get loaded with you and yours. let it be known i will raise many a brew in your honor that night.
  • TimeShredder was this close to being in Boston in August, which is almost close to New York, almost.
  • pinamizzle be bustin' caps in Europe an' cain't make it, yo, but loves his Chii-mo like a fat kid loves cake
  • the rest of ya'll buttlickers

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