Bullfighting is a cruel and pointless sport, not to say bulls are damn hard to find these days. On the other hand, your dog is staring pitifully at you through the window and occasionally fancying itself a drummer hitting the door with its paws, just to let you know you won't find peace until you relieve it of its boredom.

You think about taking it for a walk, but you don't have much time. Besides, it picks fights with every two-legged, four-legged, and maybe even five-legged being it comes across.

What to do? The answer is simple. No, don't start congratulating yourself because you guessed it, you didn't, it's in the title of this node. That's it: bullfighting with your dog.

How to do it? First of all, go to your backyard, you don't want to get something valuable or your dog broken in the process. Then get some old square or rectangular rag and make your dog think it's something it likes (i.e. food, a toy, your favorite t-shirt). Sooner than you expect it will be trying to get it off your hands. Don't let it. As soon as it leaps to bite it, with a smooth move make the rag pass just over its head up to its tail, so that the dog faces the other way. You can say ole! as you do so to feel like a developing torero. You can also run a bit if you want, and if your physical state allows you to. From time to time you can let it have the rag in order to let it know it's not impossible to get it. The part involving the spears can be skipped, replacing it for a pat on the head.

You know it's a good time to stop when a) you feel tired, b) your dog is tired, c) your dog has found something better to do, d) it looks really pissed off (it growls, barks or shows its teeth).

Common sense suggests bulldogs are the best suited for this activity, but be careful, because common sense won't give you back the leg you may lose.

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