(thing) by sui Mon Jan 21 2002 at 6:48:18

Building a Time Machine

Materials:

  1. Ensure that the cardboard box is empty and that it has at least one of it's top flaps intact. (This will be explained later).
  2. Sit in the box, facing one of the sides with a flap. Cut a hole in the side of the box so that you can see out. This is your viewing platform.
  3. Using a crayon, mark out an area below the viewing platform, about A3 size. This will be your control panel.
  4. Get out of the box. Using the aluminium foil and packing tape, line the inner and outer surfaces of the box (except the viewing platform and control panel) with foil. This gives your time machine a "science-fictiony" feel, and acts as a conducter for the electrical biofactionates often experienced in time travel. The packing tape will provide insulation, and stabilise the structure of the machine.
  5. Grab the crayons, mirror, jar lids and glue, and hop back in the box. Glue the 4 large jar lids in a row towards the top of the control panel, leaving about 5cm between each. Then using different coloured crayons, label them as follows: Atmospherical Monitor; Time Travel Indicator; Geiger Counter; Clock Radio.
  6. Glue the 3 smaller jar lids underneath the large ones in a vertical column. Label them with different coloured crayons as follows: Crystal Capacitator Control; Crystal Conversion Impacter; Start Button.
  7. Your time machine is starting to really take shape now. Next, postion the flap of the box which you are facing into the "down" position. This is your visor. Glue the mirror to the visor so that it shows when the visor is down.
  8. Get back out of the box again. Tuck the photo of your loved one behind one corner of the mirror on the visor. This will come in handy for inspirational purposes and the like while you are on the journey through time.
  9. Now, glue 10 1 metre lengths of velcro (the hook half) to the back of the box, on the outside. With the other 10 metres of velcro (the loop half), entirely cover the pyrolythinox crystal converter, leaving a small opening at the top. Affix it to the back of the box.
  10. The converter is now ready to receive the liquid pyrolythinox crystals. Pour in crystals through the opening to the half way mark. The time machine will now function smoothly.
    11. Send the dog on a few test runs.
  11. When you deem it safe to do so, hop in your time machine and have wacky adventures. (Don't forget to gaze wistfully at the photo of your loved one from time to time).

N.B. This type of machine will only work for travelling back in time. For time travel into the future, you will need liquid borithium crystals, which are not as readily available.

I like it!

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