Bob the Cow of Doom

This just in from our investigative business correspondent, who made it up on the spur of a moment. High-ranking sources confirm that Internet giant Cow of Doom (manufacturers of the chickens in Quake) and new-media company Bob the Cow (who recently disclaimed any involvement in Microsoft's Bob 2, commonly known as Office paperclip digital assistant pal who's fun to be with) are in merger talks. Our reporter has learned that these talks, if successful, will lead to the creation of a combined pharmaceutical / Internet / media / farm produce conglomerate which will be known as Bob the Cow of Doom.

Mr. Bones, CEO of wildly successful Internet company Everything2, told "Fake News 2000" he was "unworried" about the new giant. "I just hope we can finally unload Everything2 for a 9 digit figure. That way we'll be able to start Everything3, fire our inflated workspace of ungrateful noders, and hopefully sign on some real talent, maybe even JonKatz," our reporter maligned him as saying.

I'm sorry, I'm not at liberty to discuss the matter at this time, but rest assured that COW OF DOOM (tm) Enterprises will take whatever steps are necessary to hasten the process of bovine global domination, including strategic alliances with such organizations as Hormel Foods and bob the cow.

err, nevermind about Hormel Foods.