Bing and Snoopy and Pharoh the black lab hurried back to the cabin. They saw the older girl from Bing's family. She threw her hands over her mouth and burst into tears when she saw the nails in Bing's mouth and sticking out his jaw.
"Mac!" she shouted "Mac!" and she went running over to the water.
Mac was the male human in Bing's family. He was holding an enormous dead fish. Bing would have been very interested if it was not for the god danged nails.
"Fungk me running." Bing tried to say. He is drooling because he can't close his mouth.
Mac nearly drops the dead fish. "Holy shit."
The adult woman is hugging the older girl, who is howling.
"Jay Zeus," says Snoopy, "Fungking help us, don't fungking howl!"
Mac puts the huge dead fish down carefully in a cooler and kneels in front of Bing. Bing is shaking and drooling. He feels faint.
"Get the pliers," says Mac. One of the extended family, that are gathering round, runs for the Tool Shed.
Mac has a couple of people hold Bing. He starts pulling the nails out with pliers. It is agony. Bing can't even howl with all the fungking nails in his tongue and face.
"Fungk," said Mac, "I catch my first pike and this happens." Some of the family are watching and others have retreated into the cabin. All of the kids have disappeared.
Mac stops working on Bing and pulls the 6 nails out of Snoopy's face. Snoopy whines, but thanks him, "Oh, God, thank you, thank you Bing family man!"
"We'll have to take Bing to a vet," says Mac to the adult woman. "Some are so deep I just can't get at them."
"Oh, God." says the adult woman, "I fungking hate dogs. It's Saturday. How much is that going to cost?"
They take Bing to the boat. The older girl hugs him, shaking, and the younger girl does too. They are both crying.
Boat rides across the lake. Every bump hurts like knives. Bing drools. The woman gets the car and Mac picks Bing up. They drive the 17 miles on the dirt road to town.
In town there is this guy in the road. He is dressed in black with white shit on his face and white hand covers. He is doing some weird fungking dance in the road. Bing does not fungking care.
Mac stops the car and leans out. "Where's a vet?"
The weird dude doesn't say anything but continues the dance. Bing thinks probably hydrophobia, though the dude isn't frothing yet.
Mac shouts, "Veterinarian! Emergency! Our dog bit a porcupine!"
The weird dude stops dancing and looks in the car. "Holy shi-ite! Oh, shiite, that looks horrible. Go to the police station, two blocks down and one over -- they'll find one. None in town here. You'll have to drive. It's Saturday."
"We know," says the woman, grimly.
Police station. Mac stays in the car with Bing. The woman comes back. "53 miles." she says. "We found a vet open. He says he'll have to knock him out to get them. Fungking dog. I knew we shouldn't get a fungking dog. "
The car ride hurts. Mac carries Bing into a place that smells like the horrid pound place he'd been in once, only worse. Smells of sick and fear and cats and fungk, parrots and iguanas. Fungk.
The vet is gentle. He said, "Hold still, buddy." and sticks a needle into Bing's leg. Bing thinks "More nails?" but then he is falling asleep.....
He wakes up. His face hurts like shiites, but the nails are gone. "Oh, thank you," he whines. He tries to lick the vet and Mac and the woman, but his tongue is swollen, size of a fungking squirrel.
"Ok, you can take him home." says the vet.
"Dam dog," says the woman. She is handing over the money stuff.
Back in the car and then the boat and the girls run down and hug Bing and hug him. Still crying, the silly things.
And the rest of the family have cooked the Big Fish. It smells pretty good though Bing really doesn't feel like eating much. He eats a little grass and has some nice barfs and feels a little better. At least he can drink water now. He drinks a lot of water. The family is all happy about his face being better and about the dead fish.
Bing thinks that his family is pretty weird, but they really can be kind sometimes.
And he is going to get revenge on the Nail Gun Animal. Revenge. He'll show that thing.