Billie Piper

Born: September 22, 1982 (Virgo); Swindon, UK1

Notable Achievements: Four back-to-back #1 Pop Songs in 1998, marrying Chris Evans,

Known, primarily, for looking like a pop tartlet2 prancing around on the street at age 16 for her Number One one-hit wonder "Because We Want To"3, to which the lyrics went something like:

Why d'you always [insert generic teenage girl thing to do here]?
Because we want to! Because we want to!

repeat ad nauseam

Admittedly, she was signed up with Innocent (Virgin) Records 4, which was never a clever way of promoting her except potentially to closet paedophiles.

She later went on to marry Chris Evans in 2001, probably the most famous redhead of British TV at the time, who also had issues with Virgin after being sacked from their radio station5. They're presumably still married; Google doesn't turn up any relevant references. Good luck to them.

Most recently, she has been announced as the new Doctor Who sidekick for the ninth incarnation of the classic TV character.6


2: kinda like a starlet, but more tart.

3: please, for the love of god, let this remain a dead link.




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