Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Bert and Ernie are not gay. They're puppets. They don't even have legs."

• Ernie and Bert are not gay. They're puppets. They don't even have legs.
• "Of course humans aren't intelligent. They don't even have glurbleflukers. If you can't glurblefluke, you're not sentient."
• Because the weather is always beautiful, they don't even know that storms can be beautiful too.
• Now there's revolution but they don't know what they're fighting
• they still come to me even though i don't come to them
• Gays don't need us heteros to propagate gay stereotypes; they're doing just fine by themselves
• I don't even have the energy to kill myself
• They don't know what they're missing
• Women who don't realize they're pregnant until they give birth
• They're just babies, they don't understand!
• A lot of houses don't even have anyone to board them up.
• The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
• i am a seedling. i don't even understand how much i have yet to learn.
• You don't even have a chance of being happy if you can't let shit go.
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• Girls who go home with you when they don't even know your name
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• Living well is only the best revenge if they don't have a fuckable sibling
• Don't ever lie. If you lie to your friends, they won't trust you, and you'll have nothing, and you'll never be safe.
• You make yourself lonely even though you don't have to
• If they're going up to the sun, the stars and the moon, why don't they bring the moon down for us?
• We don't have time. Not like they do.
• If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.
• Too bad they don't make one for your heart...
• they tell you to be your true self. to never give up on who you are. they don't know who i am.
• Bert and Ernie
• A reason to drink
• The parable of Ernie and Bert and the painting of the cow eating grass
• Winners don't do drugs, they just sell them
• most people don't know what they're talking about anyway
• The Ernie/Bert Dichotomy
• i cannot ever have you, not even in thoughts.
• Everything I have told you, even this, is a lie
• I don't have the time
• Even if You Don't
• I don't even know when I am being sarcastic anymore
• The mighty have fallen, and I don't feel too good myself
• Ernie and Bert, the truth is revealed
• You don't have any real problems
• Dogs don't have souls, so it doesn't matter
• Archived E2 FAQ: Why Don't I Have Votes Today? (document)
• We don't have what we need because we can't stop wanting
• Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
• Even a Doll Can Seem To Have a Soul
• What Have They Done to the Rain
• I am not gay. I have never been gay.
• i don't hate you. not even a little
• Cats don't have brakes
• Words that don't mean the same as they used to
• You don't know what you have until it's gone
• If I don't care, I don't have to hurt
• I have dreadlocks and I don't know where the pot is
• You don't always have to disagree, or agree for that matter
• Ernie and Bert are not straight
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• People don't flail when they die
• "for the last time: Up here they don't wear Lederhosen!": A christmassy eurotrash nodermeet.
• Why don't I have votes today?
• I don't have a thing to wear!
• Why girlfriends get annoyed when they remember things you don't
• You haven't seen it and you don't understand. I have malice. I have cruelty. The little fire that's always been inside me isn't so little anymore.
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• you don't have to eat your dinner but you pay for your plate
• don't start from words. they are a nest of lies.
• You are brave and wonderful even when they nuke the damn thing.
• We read your mail so you don't have to
• It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead
• I have lots of gay friends
• I still have the skull of the one that tried to bite my leg off
• What Have They Done to the Rain?
• i cant ever have you, even in my mind.
• Even inanimate objects have a sort of life and legacy
• They don't understand my tea
• I have a Shaymus and you don't.
• I don't have any secrets. Now ask me if I have any lies.
• Rape committed by women
• They don't touch me the same way
• I don't have a problem with Christians, it's Biblical Literalism I can't stand
• What they don't know can't hurt them
• Don't feel comfortable with girls? Have a daughter.
• You don't have to remember my name
• If you don't play pinochle, you must have married in
• I Don't Need to Have Children, I Date Them
• So you don't have to
• Don't trust Elves; they may want to be your friends
• sam, they dont liste (user)
• I don't feel gay
• They don't know what I've done
• Jesus loves you so I don't have to
• if you don't have anything nice to say, a rose still smells as sweet
• WE DON'T HAVE STARBUCKS ASSHOLE
• And I don't even know their names
• Don't count your chickens before they hatch
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• Baptist jokes
• Baptist fear of dancing
• You don't have to catch me. You don't need to bring me back.
• Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
• Why don't urinals have stalls?
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• The reason people go to war is because they don't understand the feelings of others.
• you don't have to erase it, you just have to let it go
• you don't have to do this
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• I don't even badly want what I've been taking. It's just been there.
• I Love Them But They Don't Love Me
• Even God doesn't have the right to utterly destroy children
• We can't even sort out the space between people, we have no business building rockets.
• And if you don't look too closely, you won't even notice the cockroach
• Even the tides have more friends than you
• I will love them all even after they are long gone
• Even if they're really good friends, you shouldn't trust a couple hundred friends with your secrets
• Two bros sitting in a hot tub! Five feet apart 'cause they're not gay!
• Have you told your parents you're gay?
• when even the plants have abandoned me
• They have potential, if they only applied themselves
• They could have sprung 50 cents for a connector
• Have I mentioned I am gay today?
• Even if they're in my dreams, if I'm not willing to try to reach out to them then do I really miss them?
• You don't even know the meaning of the word committed. I'm Andy Kaufman, motherfucker. I will die on this hill I made, in this battle I started, for this prize I already own.
• If you don't know how to make a mu, you have no business measuring quantities that small.
• Don't meddle in that which you have no desire to understand
• If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything
• Don't assume that just because I'm gay, all I want is sex
• I don't have a problem with Biblical Literalism, it's Christians I can't stand
• Low self-esteem is actually one of the most self-centered acts; not unlike suicide
• I don't want to risk endangering the cheap, meaningless sex we have
• Fake legs and javelin don't mix... Paralympics 2000
• And that's why we don't have sex in the nose
• I have a punklin and you don't
• Stoned music memories
• They shoot videogames in Indianapolis, don't they?
• Dogs are for wimps who don't have the guts to bite people themselves
• They Don't Want Me
• Actors who don't speak the language of the movie they're in
• Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
• 2001: Why don't we have HAL?
• People with suntans don't look healthy, they look ignorant
• They Shoot Horses, Don't They?
• You don't have to be a vegetarian to like vegetarian food
• Relax. Don't worry. Have a homebrew.
• The best part about you is that you don't even know how great you are
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• I don't have a postmodern condition; I've always been like this
• I don't think she even knows that I make her smile
• Thank god I don't have to make my living passing out bogus petitions
• I don't have a life; Everyone else wants to live my life for me
• When life gives you lemons, suck on them. Seriously, lemons taste awesome.
• Things that people do more over and over that I haven't even done once
• You're a poet and you don't even know it
• Let's hear that string part again, because I don't think they heard it
• Writers don't look for their big breaks. They write them.
• Badgers? We ain't got no badgers. We don't need no badgers. I don't have to show you any stinking badgers!
• the strongest memes don't brand, they sit in your head and crochet
• Don't Sit Next to Me, Just Because I'm Gay
• Reason #57 Why I Don't Have Children
• or maybe a calm voice, that accent you don't think you have
• E2 FAQ: Why Don't I Have Votes Today? (node_forward)
• they don't know what they'd do without me
• No, I don't have channel 11
• Things they don't teach you at law school but really ought to
• I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
• I still don't even know you
• 23 Things They Don't Tell You About Capitalism
• Punks aren't lazy. They just don't got principles.
• Books Hazelnut Read So You Don't Have To (category)
• They don't get it. Let them suffer.
• You Don't Have To Say You Love Me
• I am letting myself down so you don't have to
• One of the dangers of necromancy is you don't really know who's on the other side or what they're going to give you in return.
• I don't have a television set
• i call my phone and i check my messages, but i don't have any messages
• what is this i don't even
• Do not have sex with horses. Seriously, don't.
• We don't have time for this. None of us have time for any of this.
• I'm scared. I don't have a name.
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• telling people what they don't need to know
• Songs Hazelnut Listened To So You Don't Have To
• Being solicited for sex by people who don't even know your gender

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