Bathroom Reading

Bathroom Reading is a beautiful thing, and should not be frowned upon. It is simply satifying the human nature of not being bored. Bathroom Reading is something we do when we're on the John, and don't have a Game Boy.

For years, non Bathroom Readers have wondered why we read while doing our business. The toilet was meant for dicks, not Dickens. Besides, who would want to touch a book that was in the pee pee room?

The answer is, frankly, that when you're doing the poopie dance, you get tired of waiting, and read a newspaper, a magazine, or a good book. Most bathroom readers are prepared for such a situation, and bring fresh reading material.

There are certain times when you know you are going to be in there for a long time, and bring reading material accordingly. No one can win over constipation in a staring contest.

So there's your answer, non bathroom readers. We're just bored. Really really bored. The next time you bring a book in the B-room, be proud! Say out loud, "I am a bathroom reader, and I am PROUD OF IT!"

Until you get a Game Boy...

Hi, my name is Debbie and I am a bathroom reader

I cannot even remember the first time I read in the bathroom. It seems like I have been reading on the pooper all my life. In fact I am such a bathroom reader that I even read while in the tub. I can remember as a child reading the back of the shampoo bottles over and over again, just to have something to do. I bring my mail in with me. I make my to do list for the day. I just can't stop myself.

When I think back on my life as a bathroom reader I try to figure out how it started, why am I a bathroom reader? Well, as a kid I can remember every Sunday morning my dad would go in for his 'morning constitution', that's what he always called it, I have no idea what that means, but that's what he called it. Anyway, every Sunday morning he would head for the bathroom, with both Sunday papers, for what seemed like three hours. I can remember when I hit rock bottom with the bathroom reading thing. I actually got in a fist fight with my dad, yes, my dad, for the Sunday paper. I only wanted one...I still don't understand why he couldn't share. But that was a long time ago...

I know that a lot of people think that reading in the bathroom is disgusting but there's just something satisifying about reading a good book while letting go of your day's meals. And besides, sometimes it just takes too long and sometimes you just need to take your mind off of 'things' so that you can relax enough.

Hi, my name is Debbie and I am a bathroom reader

Bathroom reading actually owes much of its history to people being disgusted by human excrements.

At least in the Jewish community, bathroom reading comes from the religious practice of never wasting time that can be spent reading the Torah on doing something else. ‘Are you trying to say they read the bible on the toilet?’ asks the shocked reader, and I reply: ‘quite the contrary’. The thing is, the toilet was the one place where you could read, had time to read, but weren’t allowed to read the bible. Many a reader, engrossed in a fascinating but sadly unreligious book, was forced to spend hours on the toilet.
Of course, now-days, many Jews are secular, and spend no time at all reading the bible. But the long-lived tradition of reading in the bathroom lives in the hearts and minds of the Jewish people as it always has, and as it always will! Long live reading in the Toilet!