We need to talk about the adultery that happened at this weekend's Nodermeet entitled The Baggage Patch Kids: A Masked Noder Gathering on Narragansett Bay. It is clearly the elephant in the room.
I'm Dr. Peter Swilling. I'm a psychiatrist. I'm possessed. Call me. Appointments are available. Sliding scale. Call for special offers for everything2.com noders. Ask within. I dare you. I have a guy who is sexual in my office. He'll stay away from you while you are here. Visiting to talk VERY openly about your personal life.
So, what are we going to do about the adultery that happened at the Nodermeet?
Stoning is something that hasn't been done of this website since 1958. That is what the records I studied in The Anals of Everything2 History. These are interesting facts. Should we bring back stoning? Should we be stoning noders OPENLY at Nodermeets? I think this might lead to a slippery slope. Still, we must take action. Adultery should not be tolerated at Nodermeets. It hasn't been openly embraced at Nodermeets since 1977. Friend Behr reports getting a "great big 'fuck you'" from the women at a Nodermeet in 2003 when he was coming up to them and OPENLY trying to stick his fingers inside their mouths. Ibid.
Risotto. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.
Adultery happens at Nodermeets. Maybe it isn't talked about. Maybe it isn't talked about ENOUGH. Have you seen adultery at Nodermeets? Report it to the Admins. They will DO SOMETHING about it. They have to. It is in the bylaws.
Being lax in policing what happens at Nodermeets is wrong, wrong, wrong. It leads us in bad directions. You have one man's wife on a couch with another woman's husband and they have their fingers in each others "anuses" under a blanket. The wife of the man is in the kitchen and she has her tongue down on of our top factual article writer's throats. And there are DOZENS of young, Millenial noders just watching all this. And the man who belongs to the woman on the couch is outside in the car fucking the wife of one of the Administrators. Fucking. In. The. Car. At a Nodermeet.
This is so wrong. And it is even more wrong that we aren't talking about it. Maybe we don't have to name names but we have to do SOMETHING.
Medically yours,
Dr. Peter Swilling