A few weeks back a person I met at tango accused me of "looking like a right winger."

For the record, she's quite right, I'm +3.74, -3.88 according to the Political Compass.

But my question to you, oh good people of E2, is this - How does one look like a right winger? Do we have horns and a smell of sulphur? Do we have something of the night about us? Is it the pinstripe suit and the Jag - not that I own a Jag, of course, I have an eleven-year-old Renault Laguna that seems to attract bird shit like Justin Bieber attracts prepubescent girls.

And it's not like I went to public school either - I went to a state grammar school and support same, for reasons that will be explained later in a much more thoroughly researched writeup. I don't bumble drunkenly between snifters of brandy so much as sidle up, unsuspectingly, to foaming pints of Wychwood. And I've never harboured ambitions to be a City Boy because the world of international finance completely fails to interest me.

Incidentally, Selene (for that is her name) does not look like a left winger despite being a raw foodist and an anti-vaccinationist (ugh). She works for a company that produces fruit machines, which are arguably the most cut-throatedly capitalist product imaginable as their stated intent is to plunder the wallets of the statistically ignorant. Which begs the question, what does a left winger look like (excluding the stereotypes of soap dodging hippie, Islingtonite champagne socialist, militant trade union firebrand, and posho student activist, that is)?

So, then, folks - please, tell me why someone might think I look like a right winger?

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