A lot of money, people lend a-lot-of-money to students.
A student loan, for when you go to university.
Because you were going to university, you had got it sorted, you'd aced your As levels, you'd been accepted at Cambridge, you were going to study law, and become the most bad assed barrister this planet has ever seen.
It's ok though, do you know how many car batteries you can buy with a student loan?
And now it's the night of the leaver's ball, it's not some preppy American prom it's a straight up ball.
And that's what you're going to have, a ball, you are going to have a ball.
You aren't exactly attending this ball though. They don't let expelled students attend the ball, but it's not as if that'll save them.
The thing is, you met this girl, fuck, it's the oldest story in the book and you curse your parents for being right. Meet a girl, fall into something resembling love, crash, burn.
It's not that she was a manipulative cow. It's not like she screwed you on purpose. It's just that young people, moving at such velocity through school as you were, can be, well, distracted from the emotions of other humans. It's not that you were unexperienced, it's not that she was your first girlfriend, it's not even like she was your first fuck. Christ, girls couldn't keep themselves away from you. You were bon-a-fide gentleman caller material. Sit for a second on this damp patch of grass and remember Katie, and Claire, and Sophie, and Laura. Shit, that was good, wasn't it? Too good.
Beaucoup bad shit mon frere
But it doesn't matter, she broke up with you, she hates you, she's the reason you're here. This whole mess wouldn't have escalated to you having to kill everyone if it wasn't for that stupid stupid girl.
Spreading her stupid stupid rumours. Getting you into those stupid stupid fights.
Fuck, that stupid bitch, look, you can see her, dressed up like the classy whore that she is.
No, you'll need to use the binoculars. the third window.
It was her fault, she fucked you over and I know, I know revenge is wrong, but the fact is, we've got nothing left, nothing but anger, and anger can only be sated by revenge.
So we spent that student loan of yours, we spent it very descreetly, we spent it on one thing. Car batteries. We have dozens stored in the ceiling of that fucking school hall. almost a hundred. Goddamn, why do I keep saying "we"? It was you, you my man, you did it. I barely helped, I just put the idea in your head. You were the one who had the brains, and the braun to do this. Shit, handling those kind of voltages is no easy task.
When your head of year wrote for a reference that you have a "Single minded determination" that fucker was right. Fucking right.
And now he's going to pay, he's going to see what "Single minded determination" can do when directed incorrectly, stupid ass. You get in a few fights, you send a few death threats to some stupid girl who fucked your heart out like a bad emo song and you're expelled.
Fuck, what the hell is the time, I don't have a watch, what time is it? 8.30? Check, check with the fucking binoculars, check if that manipulative cow is standing on stage recieving some fucking award for fucking over decent guys.
It's ok man, you never needed this school, all the shit they taught you was a lie, remember? They taught you there was two types of material, those that conduct, and those that don't. They taught you that the world was full of two types of people, good people, and bad people.
They lied, the world is full of you, and them. And everything conducts with enough voltage. Everything.
She's on the stage? Do it, do it, press that fucking button and change chemical energy to electrical energy, send it rushing down that stupid ass disco ball, turn them into the most impressive light show since you torched a car.
The school hall lights up in front of you, a blue light strobing on and off, on and off, on and off. An artificial lightning strike, touching everyone in that hall, you can see the beams twisting through the air, finding their mark, then remaining embedded on your retina. You think you see her, writhing on the floor, her nerves shot to pieces, her heart beating erratically.
"Holy sweet FUCK man, the ceiling is ON FIRE. My god, you re a genius. You. Are. A. Genius. there's no fucking WAY those fucks are going to fucking survive that, look, look, its collapsing, the stupid polystyrene tiles are dropping, bringing nearly a hundred batteries full of acid dropping down almost 20 feet from the ceiling.
"My god man, that's beautiful, it was worth it, it was all fucking worth it. I swear, I can see someone on fire with battery acid in their eyes.
"Funniest shit, EVER"