Imagine that there are bombs falling from the sky
all around you, sending shockwaves through your bones. There is so much adrenaline
inside your veins it's like a bomb in each heartbeat. You are so helpless, it's like shouting into the storm
. To the bombs you are nothing
And there's a girl there, the most beautiful girl, the girl you love, and you're with her. You're taking it slow because there's just no point to hurry. Every moment could be your last; your fate might as well have been already decided for you, and you've both just accepted that.
The bombs are so beautiful because they're so out of your control . In these moments your life's just been stripped of all those illusions some people call reality, that plastic dream of success and "normality." All those things that fascinated you before are all so meaningless. But there's a meaning in that meaninglessness.
Maybe she shakes and braces herself when a bomb collapses into the earth nearby. Maybe she cries a little, maybe you do too. And you're just holding eachother, there for eachother for ever. But you're not crying because you're sad, you're crying because this is the most beautiful thing. All of it, it doesn't make sense. And it clicks, that it does make sense - the one thing that makes sense is that nothing makes sense. We live we love we die.
Everything seems so trivial. You seem so trivial, you and her, you're nothing in a city of hundreds of thousands of people that's getting ripped apart by flame - it doesn't matter where, or by who. You're nothing, just two people. You might as well be rubble on the streets. And it's like you're a part of that rubble, you're a part of everything. You are nothing and you are everything, together. (And soon u will be transformed something else). And it doesn't make sense but it doesn't have to.
You realize, nothing - the concept of "nothing," makes sense. Nothing is not the absence of anything - it is everything. Now it seems like u're where nothing and everything meet, and nowhere in between.
And u're not sure why you're even doing this, maybe. You don't know if it's lust, or love, cause u're not sure if u even know what love is anymore. This seems just so.. pure. - but u know it's love, even though u don't know what "love" is, and it doesn't matter. There's a blast of light and a flash of heat. You don't know when, you don't care. Time is so meaningless now.
Maybe you feel her shudder, maybe a whimper escapes her throught. But you're there, you're holding her, you're inside her. With your eyes, with your tongue, with your body, with your heart, your soul, your love your life. And then you both get blasted apart.
But not from each other. Never from each other.
And then it ALL makes perfect sense.