Last night I had two distinct dreams. My new niece was in the first one, the guy I like was in the second. I woke up around 4:30, went back to bed and slept until 6:30 or so which was really nice. Last night I laid on the couch goofing around on Twitter. I stayed up later than I would have liked which is okay. This morning I found myself feeling like I have these past few days which is deliciously relaxed, confident, and sort of drowsy/complacent. In the past I associated the word abundance with money as I assume many people do. I'm discovering that the two concepts may be more distantly related than I initially thought. A woman from church picked me up so I could go to knitting club yesterday evening. It was good to be back with a group that I admire and enjoy.
This morning I rearranged the furniture in my back room. I angled the loveseat, banished a tall chair, brought in four chairs from the sunporch, and one from my oldest daughter's bedroom. I was wrong about needing paint and flooring to pull a room together, once furniture is effectively arranged the need for a better shell recedes. I still want to paint and will, now I have a much better idea of how the walls flow and combine which will make selecting paint easier. My living room, front hall, and two bedrooms face the north. Everything else faces the south. I want something warm and neutral for the northern exposure and something cool and neutral for the south.
Taking apart my closet was a smart move although I doubted that until now. I'm going to move my bed against the longest wall, place a small cabinet next to it, and create an office area in my closet. An internal debate I have with myself is trying to decide if I want to have an outlet in there. That would be handy for computer work, right now I use the dining room table which is bright and well lit, but probably isn't the best place for the sprawl of cords and electronics. I moved my cell phone charger to the desk in the living room. That helps me stay off of it to a greater extent, it's a battle since I'm so accustomed to checking my phone too much, but it helps.
Another thing I did was put my purse on the table in my front hall. I put a bag beneath it that has a notepad, pen, magazine, and I'm going to put some books near there that I can add along with a snack and water bottle. It's the launch pad idea I read about in my book about ADD strategies that help keep things in a central location for times when I'm in a hurry to get out the door. Another station has my yoga mat. I moved the arts and crafts bag there. It needs a better home, but for now it's off the floor and that gives me a sense of relief. Sometimes I don't realize when things are bothering me until they're changed. I suppose this is the disruption concept I hear so much about.
While I still haven't heard anything from the coffee shop which is disappointing, I'm optimistic since I have a clearer idea of where my gifts and talents lie and how they can be utilized more effectively. As things take shape around the house and I regain greater control of my environment, it makes it easier to contemplate going back to work. I'm getting to the point where the pain of searching for work is becoming more appealing than sitting at home day after day. Somewhere out there is a job for me that takes what I'm good at and gives me money for doing what I like and love. I may have to start in a place that is only tolerable, but I can use that to fuel ambition.
Having this time is very precious to me. It hasn't been so in the past which is a small regret I'm letting go of today. I had to work through these things on my own timeline and in my own way. I feel as if I've turned a neat corner recently, emotional progress feels great, I didn't expect it to be so liberating. I feel very free, I'm still anxious, anxiety has been a part of my life for so long it feels strange during those times when it's lessened. I see it in my friends and family members and have an increasing ability to recognize it for what it is and remember that it can make people behave in ways that make sense to them even if they don't want to be operating from that base.
Today is a day for action and contemplation. I'm going to keep going with the decorating, getting rooms crossed off my list is unbelievably satisfying, I'd love to be able to turn this into some sort of paying side gig, or maybe even something full time if I can figure out how to package and leverage it. My Organize Yourself book was another great Goodwill find, other books have been helpful, but this one gets into time management and bill paying strategies that are more detailed than the ones I've run across previously. Maybe I'll see what I can get done in my bedroom today. The furniture in there is heavy, but I can take my bed apart and use this rolling cart we have to move my desk. I'm excited, happy, and bursting with strategic ways to reduce stress and increase productivity at home. Go Jess...