My parts or my people want to be described in further detail. As they die, or integrate into me, they want to be remembered for their beauty, their strength, and their integrity.
I am not writing most of this - I will try and edit but sometimes I am not allowed to interfere with what occurs. I respect every individual inside, as they have kept me safe, and alive for many years. I love every one of them and thank them for their love and their sacrifice.
She (The Angry One) only came out under fire. A phrase, a tone of voice, spoken by the wrong, dangerous person; or just a good friend; would pull her out before the person finished speaking. Ignited the angry one, who would then proceed to set the speaker on fire.
The beginning of a beautiful intimate lovemaking might bring out the little scared girl. and that would be it for the night. Or at the end of a close intimate entanglement, a terrified child would come out and relive those awful heavy slow steps on the stair.
The very sad, suicidal girl who has the definitive death planned out, comes out at another's urging. Ordinarily very weak, she gains control and begins searching for the arteries in her wrists, and the sharpest implement that she can find.
The Nothing girl has no emotion. No face. No body. Something happens and is too much, far too much to absorb or handle. She turns and stares at the wall, seeking that tiny spot that she can vanish into. She always finds it.
Paul, stronger than anyone, with broad shoulders and dark brown hair, will come out if any of the girls are threatened with a man who might want something sexual. He will fight or hurt or kill if necessary - but he will make sure it's necessary first.
The other man, who has no name, is an ugly, mean street brawler who knows how to fight dirty. If some one is truly threatened, he has come out and tried to start a fight, literally, with one to three men.
A near car accident, an ugly incident in McDonalds' involving a (real) small child and a bad employee, an encounter on a street. He has no fear of anyone or anything and would die to protect the vulnerable and the weak ones. There is no hesitation; he would kill and ask questions later. And the real children of me. He had no idea that I, and the girls, and the others, all inhabit the same female body.
There is one I don't know well; she just comes when there is an opening. She is containing bitter, deep despair, the sad knowledge of the pointlessness of all life pushes her to her goal, still not reached.
Farther away, integrated, or almost finished doing so....
There are still the teenage girls; the little girls ranging in age from about two to about 9.
And there are the three little infants, nine months, eighteen months, and 20 months. They are inside now, happier than they've ever been, thanks to the little girls who mothered and loved and cared for them over this past year.