This, my first ever poetic node on E2, came to me at one juncture while I was rather drunk one night. I then tarted it up and deemed it worthy of posting here. It is, of course, some gentle prodding of the "stereotypical" Goth scene and its associated vampire-related silliness mixed with some similar prodding of Gangsta Rap and as such it features staples of the latter style such as bitches and hoes, bling bling, fancy cars, contrived lyrics, chillin' wit' yo' homies, and flaunting designer labels. Hope you enjoy. For maximum effect, imagine some stolen hip-hop beats playing in the background.

I hasten to add that no offence is intended by this little offering...

Yo, check this out now...

I'm MC Goth and I dress all in black
Like Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus an all that
I have a Big Tin Ankh and That Wasted Look
My bedtime reading's an Anne Rice book
I spit sick rhymes and tear up da scene
When I iz in da house every day is Halloween
do you cats know what I mean? *scratches*
I'm rough, I'm tough, and I'm spooky enough
and I like to blaze da kreteks and snuff it down rough.
I'm pan and poly and I'm doin' pretty good
Hammer Horror films give me a raging wood.
Uh, I sip absinthe and hang round Camden Lock
Tuck my trousers in my socks,
get them into my New Rocks,
ya get me?

Yo, I'm a GOTH, yo, that's what I be
Mad Bob Smith ain't got nothin' on me
I eat depression and I fart dead bats
I have plastic hair extensions and wank off to the Vampire Lestat
When I'm cruisin' with my homies I do it in a hearse
while wasted on La Fée Verte *scratches*
Rollin' on 20s shaped like pentagrams
and on tha mirror black hood I got a skeletal hand!
I fancy myself as the Marquis de Sade
don't keep gats under my pillow, I got razor blades!
I go out and ride wit my Mistress Of Tha Dark,
take her down into the park,
then TAKE her in tha dark
ya get me?

My hoes they all fine in their velvet dresses
I don't go for no groping I give vulgar caresses
I like to wax poetic and fancy myself as Byron
not for me wack rhymes subtle as a 9 iron
On the 'floor I move like a cat and I got 9 lives
I really love the honeys with the latex, high heels, knives
you catch my jive? *scratches*
Mans disrespect me, they say I got no life
They say I look like death but I prefer "unlife"
I look like I have slow wasting diseases
I don't suffer from depression, I find it pleases!
Screw trackies from FUBU, I got a coat from Sinwear
fit my top hat in there
yeah I go out dressed to scare
ya get me?

Oh, oh, now check this!

If you gonna fuck wit me you in for a culture shock
I sink to levels of silliness best reserved for horror schlock
I'm the sickest motherfucker since Dani Filth
and I find Morticia Addams the essence of MILF
The amount of pussy I get like this is just plain ridiculous
I'm more than just a playa, I'm a mother fuckin' incubus!
This is how I do, this is how I roll
and if you don't like it you can slobber on my maypole
Now my veins have got a date with a nice sharp knife
MC Goth, signing off. DARKSIDE 4 LIFE!

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