A
person might take care of their appearance and manners solely for
aesthetic reasons. We all carry around an
image of ourselves in our heads, and if that image has
grace and
style (or whatever we prefer:
energy,
gulelessness,
slapstick humor), we'll be happier. It need not involve how others judge us.
Another possibility is that you want to create a pleasurable aesthetic experience for others. This would involve taking care to look good and act properly in public, even though it's relatively
depersonalized. It's like trying to turn yourself and your life into a work of
art.
A further question: does concern with appearances necessarily translate to
superficiality? If I want to look good in order to make my
friends happier, because I value their
well-being and share in their
joy, is that
shallow? Someone who judges others on their appearance is superficial, but what about someone who uses
surfaces to access the depths?