America’s Dilemma; Nature’s Pleasure
What else can I take? What else can I benefit from? What else can I consume? I stare at the world around me, lustfully, prone to strike at any and all moments for anything I see that looks good. I don’t care about whom it might hurt, who it might force compensation upon; I just want what I want and I don’t care about anything else. I am a consumer; what rights do I have but to consume? I am a living being; does not my survival make apparent my natural fitness, my purely natural survival-of-the-fittest reign? What wrong then am I doing in my natural consumption, even if a little inevitable destruction comes along with it? This is the mindset that Nature sadly shrinks to at every single waking moment. Nature continues to spread an epidemic of fear and dread to the bodies of Americans everywhere as poor Americans cry, afraid, innocent, like squawking babies – pure, unadulterated, defenseless. Americans must stand up and change! Americans can no longer sit passively as the victims of Nature’s cruelty! We must raise our fists to Nature’s “aristocratic” procedures (World Nature Fund); we must not let Nature take what is rightfully ours; we must not suffer the despair Nature so often gives us! But we can’t stop there; Nature has been plainly too cruel to us. We must strike back against Nature and its natural products in an effort to purge all evil from this world, and, therefore, we must mercilessly abolish it! Death to Nature is a Justice for America!
You may think, and rightfully so, that you and your family are more important than Nature. Your family very much is. After all, kids cannot just be reproduced in any fashion, shape, or form whatsoever, while all the vivid and priceless diversity in Nature is good for is entertainment. Oh, and how people love themselves some Space Buddies – or, better yet, some of those gruesome tales of how Simba stalks, lustfully gazes, and then tears into the fat, plump, and juicy body of the innocent, unexpecting Bambi, sending a spectacularly vivid aroma of blood and guts twenty meters away, while little Bambi can't do anything but watch as his preciously vital insides get torn apart and splattered on the nearby tree! In fact, you could say that America and Nature can be more or less modeled by this story of Simba and Bambi; besides providing amusingly delicious entertainment, it's perfectly clear that Nature does absolutely nothing but hinder us in our mere existence, constantly spreading our helpless guts onto our fine, porcelain walls and synthetically-scented lavender silk bed-sheets, while our children watch in horror to be next! America's relationship with Nature needs refinement! Think of the poor children! America must change its relationship with Nature to one that shows no mercy and stands up to this tyrannical aggression of Dictator “Bloodshed” Nature, who is in cahoots with none other than Kaiser Hitler himself: “The German countryside i.e. nature must be preserved under all circumstances, for it is and has forever been the source of strength and greatness of our people...” (World Nature Fund); “Nature is cruel; therefore we are also entitled to be cruel…” (Nizkor). If America does not stand up for itself, strike back, and kill a few hundred thousand trees, then Nature will continue to play its sadistic game of human fascism and child manipulation for its benefit!
Not only does Nature destroy our furniture with our bloody stains while our children watch, -- no, God hoped it be all – but Nature also enslaves us Americans unapologetically with a nonstop hindering thievery! Sadder than this, America sits idly by in the face of Nature’s horrible thievery, as Wordsworth explains poetically: “The world is too much with us; late and soon, Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers; Little we see in Nature that is ours; We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!” (Wordsworth). Wordsworth explains that we have “laid waste our powers” and “given our hearts away” for Nature – for what? For nothing except “a sordid boon!” Nature constantly takes from us while there is “Little we see in Nature that is ours!” The fiend! Nature is constantly going behind our backs and backstabbing us! Think of all we do to help Nature: we eat its parasites (e.g. cows, fish, tomatoes, corn, etc.); we force down its toxins of the wretched dihydrogen-monoxide; we pet its puppies for God’s sake! And all Nature does to pay us back is to “elude us,” preparing “to swallow us up, books and all” (Oates 841)? We must draw some boundary to this array of badness!
Nature’s hurt doesn’t stop there. Nature is developing more and more sadistically aggressive and disgusting technologies every day. For example, Nature has been evolving gruesome bacteria and viruses that prove damaging, if not deadly, to our health, spreading mass hysteria all over the globe of a potential “Zombie Apocalypse,” where Nature turns us on one another into mindless cannibals (Barash). This Zombie Apocalypse scenario broke out during WWII, leading to the nuclear bombings on Hiroshima to push back our doom – until a second wave broke out in the Cold War, where the U.S. led, not an attack on Communism, but on the zombie breakouts in Russia and Korea (coining the term the “Cold War” because of Russia’s naturally frigid environment). In addition, Nature exploits a priceless amount of our resources each year, using them for energy to generate tremendous “natural disasters” and to heat the Earth up exponentially in an international crisis known as “global warming.” Nature generates a library of new synthetic chemicals each year, which can cause birth defects in children. Nature sees it almost as a game, sometimes sending arrays of violent attacks on individuals, via lightning strikes and shark attacks, and on whole communities, via evermore frequent hurricanes, tornadoes, and droughts. Nature has, in this sick “game,” killed hundreds of thousands of people (it’s not even a fun game – My Little Ponies is a fun game)! Nature’s juvenile game is like a strawberry-filled donut; although it looks good on the outside, it leaves a crimson ghastly taste in your mouth! I mean, look at what nature has done to a poor American couple (Gogh)*! Although it may look as if people are resting from a hard day’s work at first glance, if you look behind the superficial layer of rest you will see what is as clear as the oceans’ bowels: Nature has murdered this couple and cast aside the poor man’s shoes! We cannot allow this to continue to go on!
Nature endlessly opposes us! We ride in cars, jocosely jamming to jubilant Journey, when we stop for the night somewhere. Nature shouts, “No! I don’t approve! Evolution!”, forcing us to feel as if we’re still on the highway, travelling seventy miles an hour, when we’re stopped for the night, trying to settle down. Nature, not saying sorry, spits at us the complete nonsense that “our senses… were developed to function at foot speeds, and the transition from foot travel to motor travel, in terms of evolutionary time, has been abrupt” (Berry 827). What the heck does that even mean? That “evolutionary time” isn’t caught up with our time? It’s like saying that nature has some special right above our technology to hold us back. Once more Nature restricts humanity: humanity once desired to explore the wonders of a new frontier – away from Nature –, the sky. People started to express this burning desire culturally, singing “I believe I can fly….” However, Nature’s always one to disappoint, saying in the most immorally explicit way it could (and apparently calling us “bits,” to momentarily confuse and emotionally scar us, I suppose), “No! You no can fly! And you no can touch sky! Ha! Watcha’ gonna do now, bits!?” Nature’s cruelty seems to have no end! It will continue to strike us down and give us limits, until we act!
Americans everywhere are crying for environmental (i.e. nature) reform! We must answer these calls and reform! Nature’s tyrannical, hindering grasp upon Americans – and the rest of humanity – must no longer hold us in chains with its “natural laws” and “gravity.” While Nature continues sending us series of “natural disasters” and rips us to shreds, ruining our precious fancy furniture with a mishmash of crimson red and chocolate brown bloodstains, we must say no! We must not sit idly by, watching Nature commit the dastardly devilish thievery of our most vital resources any longer! We must strike back at Nature! Or, even better, eliminate the horrific fiend altogether! Yes! Let us together ransack Nature’s treasures while eating, ferociously, its green, luscious, diminishing guts so it will no longer give us terrible booboos, and so we can prevail!
*This picture from van Gogh shows the despicability that Nature resorts to constantly. Nature has clearly murdered this innocent young couple (I assume that they’re a couple), flinging them from their tractor onto a rough, needly, bush of silage! Just look at how Nature then shoved aside the young man’s shoes and chanted wicked spells to make the green-blue aura radiating in the sky!
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