Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Everything
2
All Your Media Are Belong to Us
(
idea
)
by
Lunarloki
Fri May 10 2002 at 8:02:37
just when you thought
it was safe
to think
here comes
mental piracy
-
Incubus
How much
would you pay
now?!?!
50 dollars!?
60 dollars!!?
NO!!
You can get this brand new
(insert thing here)
for the
low, low,
price of...
your
brain!!!
As each
generation
grows up in an
environment
saturated
with new
media
, people become less
dazzled
by
flash
and
razzle
ads. People successively grow more
capable
of understanding attempts to subvert their minds. People become experts at
advertisement
autopsies
.
That being said,
advertisers
have had to
adapt
, growing more and more
devious
at every turn. Not only that, but they've had to
compartmentalize
, splitting their efforts and sending them every which way. These days, your average
hard-core
marketing
mouseketeer
probably knows more about
demographics
than a
geographer
.
The most
effective
way to advertise these days is to hide your message. To slip it in with other
content
like a greasy
date-rapist
dosing up a hapless young
girl
before he
fuck
s the
life
out of her.
That's right...
Your TV wants to
fuck
the life out of you.
More specifically, the people behind it want to. At least, they don't
care
that it's a by-product of their massive
revenue
in-flux
. I don't know why I should have to make the
distinction
between the inanimate
glass
and
plastic
beast
straddling the living room rug, and the people pulling the strings. Oh yes. Maybe it was the
stupid
editorial
I saw in the
Chicago Tribune
in which the guy said, "Hey!? What's the
big deal
? It's not the TV! It's the bad
stuff
on TV!" Pure
genius
, this guy!
Not just TV, but all
media
is being
hijacked
by the marketing
beast
. And it's not getting any better. It's getting
worse
.
Recently, due to an astounding
decrease
in
advertising
revenue
,
media
companies of all forms are more willing than ever to
whore
themselves out any way they can. That's their
bread and butter
. It's sad to say so, but they can pour
ipecac
down the throats of their
viewers
/
readers
and the
faithful
little monkeys will take it all, as long as it has a bit of
sugary
taste
.
WENDY'S
SAY EAT THE SALAD,
HO
!
In an early March 2002 episode of
The Rosie O'Donnel Show
Rosie showcased a new Wendy's salad as part of her new
diet
. Her
producers
told her, through her
earpiece
to damn well eat the salad right there
on the air
. She ate it and she said, "Mmm. That's good!"
"
FUCK YOU! I've got BURGER POWERS!
"
The
Wall Street Journal
had this to say about the
Wendy's
+
AOL TIME WARNER
example of the slow transformation of TV shows into really long
commercials
:
This is what it takes to get advertising these days. When
Wendy's
International Inc. committed to spend more than $23 million on ads with
AOL Time Warner
Inc.'s media outlets, the burger
chain
asked for -- and received -- a host of extra goodies. The
media giant
, which produces "
The Rosie O'Donnell Show
" through its
Warner Bros.
unit, agreed to have the host eat a "
Garden Sensations
" salad on air. The salad also made an appearance on TBS Superstation's "Dinner & a Movie." And this month, AOL Time Warner magazines such as Sports Illustrated and InStyle inserted a Wendy's promotion personalized with each subscriber's name.
They're
hungry
for
prizes
!
Okay. So a
sponsor
calling the shots is nothing new, but,
Wall Street Journal
again...
Now, on the heels of the worst advertising slump since
World War II
,
advertisers
are getting a startling array of
services
that have turned publishers and
TV
channels into
full-service
marketing
companies.
May the BLING be with you...
always
Product placements
/
VNR's
/
Yoda
on the cover of
Time Magazine
/
Lara Croft
in a
U2
video.
Sugar Ray
wearing new fashions in
Maxim
/ the style section of every
newspaper
and
magazine
/
AOL Today
/ A
Playboy
centerfold
with a
car
on it!?!?
Hey! Wendy's!?
Where's the beef, yo!?!?
1984
There was a
time
when such
prolific
,
subversive
advertising
would actually have been
subject
to
Federal law
.
Ever heard of something called the
Federal Communications Commission
? They used to have a
restriction
on how much time could be devoted per hour to
commercials
.
The Reagan Administration
, the people who brought you such favorites as
The Iran Contra Affair
, and
Reaganomics
, lifted the ban, leaving the floodgates open for
infomercials
!!.
Yes.
I shit you not
. This happened in 1984.
Infomercials
weren't so
special
at
first
, but soon, everyone, from small companies to huge
conglomerates
, discovered their appeal, and the
appeal
was, you guessed it,
money
...
...gross annual sales of products generated by infomercials have grown from approximately $350 million in 1988 to well over 1.25 billion dollars in 2000.
It's not so bad...
Or is it...? It's okay for
Rosie O'Donnel
to eat a
salad
. She needs it. What's going to happen when
McDonald's
is stuffing a
Butterfinger McFlurry
down
Sarah Michelle Gellar
's
throat
every week? I don't know, I won't be watching
TV
, but it doesn't sound too promising. And when you turn on
CNN
and find them talking about what's hitting the
box office
this weekend with RECORD REVENUE, and the
hottest
new clothes, or....
THE NEWEST VERSION OF
AOL
?
(
It's better than ever!!!
) When the news is relegated to a tiny, five minute
spot
itself, what happens? I don't know. I'll be reading
FARK
.
sources: "Prolonged Ad Slump Puts Media In the Mood to Pander to Buyers," By MATTHEW ROSE and SUZANNE VRANICA
The Wall Street Journal
http://online.wsj.com/article_email/0,,SB102089211635400,00.html
and of course,
M
ad Pr0pz to my
DAWG
Douglas Rushkoff
! Man you are one
l33t
m0f0.
SHIT
!
If I ever have kids, I will kick the TV in and hurl it out the window
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Saidai
Haiku
rawdog
RSS feed
Independent media are biased too
And weeping dogs row boats of flesh
All your base are belong to us
I'm leaving, you all suck
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