My friend Maura tells a story about a few years ago when she was working the Canadian Grand Prix. Maura is a corner worker of longstanding and thus has many stories to tell. This one concerns retired Formula 1 driverJean Alesi, his F1 Ferrari and a statuesque spectator. Alesi drove for Ferrari then and his car suffered some form of mechanical problem near the end of the race. Realizing he was done, Alesi pulled his car off the course near her corner station. There he remained until the checkered flag when a teammate Gerhard Berger picked him up on the cool-down lap. Alesi's Ferrari remained at the corner.
The crowd was in quite a mood, at least partly because of Jacques Villeneuve, the first Canadian World Champion. They were rowdy and everyone knew the spectator fences would not stop them. So at the end of the race the corner workers all locked arms to protect Alesi's Ferrari which was worth close to a half million dollars.
But Grand Prix cars are special, and it isn't every day you get a chance to examine one close up. Many of the crowd made a beeline for Alesi's disabled mount. So the corner workers made a white clad ring around the car, at the center of a mob.
Then a woman's voice rang out. "Please let me through." There was a shuffling in the crowd. It was a woman, and she was stunning. Picture Denise Richards. Picture Denise Richards in nothing but a postage stamp. Three of them in fact, held together only by a few straps. "Please let me through," she repeated. "I need to rub my breasts against the Ferrari."
The corner workers exchanged glances with each other and the crowd. They shrugged and moved aside. After all, what can you say to a request like that? The crowd parted, and slowly Venus stepped from her half-shell over to the car. With a shake, she removed her top, bent over, and slowly began to rub her breasts against the still warm race car.
The crowd watched silently as she moved, cooing softly to herself as she draped her nipples across the carbon fiber body. And then she stood up, smiled and thanked the corner workers, before disappearing into the crowd.
The crowd dispersed. After that, what else was there to see?