I had a discussion about spirituality
in particular, with what at that time became a close friend
. The discussion took us about one and half a year.
as i was, i saw no sign of any mystical energy
around. he couldn't understand me. "how can you not feel it?"
although i was smoking a lot of cannabis
at the time and well aware that there was more in my brain
that i knew of, i wanted objective
, scientific proof
one day i gave in anyway, and agreed to visit a weekend of Reiki
teaching with his mom
. i was ready to accept anything presented to me, ready to shut off my brain and just feel what's happening in my body. i could still sort it out later.
objectively, nothing happened during that weekend. Five people sat, stood, lied in a room, practicing to lay on hands
on themselves or each other, talking, meditating, laughing. We pray
ed and called god
to come upon us, asked mother nature
to be so kind as to pass us some energy, please, or just concentrated on our selves.
I did something that i thought was stupid
. I prayed. I asked God
, whom i didn't believe in, for Energy
, which i didn't believe in either. To my astonishment, he gave some to me.
By now i practice home-grown Reiki-like rituals
regularily. I cannot deny the existence of mystical energy
any more, because i feel
it. And i cannot understand how i could ever deny it. A single weekend of ignoring my rationality
and accepting a Higher Source
changed me thoroughly.
It hasn't been easier since, but better. My body is still trying to explain it to my brain