03:09 <Rushton> I almost hate when i have important work to do, and I start finding interesting w/u's and end up having 16 open windows
03:09 <sam512> Everything2 was designed *specifically* for that purpose, Rushton. You think I'm kidding.
kozmund says re Keep out of the reach of children: The line between idiocy and genius is often to fine, especially around here. I had to go with 'genius' on this one
"I judge nothing!" - Deputy Governor Danforth, The Crucible
A representative sampling of the nodes that keep me around follows.
this is truth:
Make shit up
I am a robot.
A lack of News
I wouldn't be.
Lying to David
The Purple Cow
The Waste Land
The day S. died
pile of kittens
Homophobia is gay
Good Night, Gracie
How to leash a fly
Riviera Beach Club
Turtles say "mmeh"
archy on the radio
handles on kittens
customer : good dad
Is anorexia genetic?
The day my fish died
i feal [sic]
Interview with prole
die (thing) by sensei
This wordplay bullshit
literature like acorns
little anarchy panties
the lesson of the moth
Maybe is a pussy answer
Rape committed by women
Troll (person) by Troll
Violence is an organism
Allow yourself no dreams
I fear I will be nothing
So you wanna be a hacker
(prayer for the departed)
The world breaks everyone
damn poem still haunts me
retard (idea) by factgirl
A Thousand Points of Light
For Translation into Latin
How did I get here, Sarah?
O Freunde nicht diese Töne
Salty taste of blue things
The day she lost the light
when god decided to invent
On the tracks, in the light
The Gone, Growing in Number
They could have saved Kevin
take the skinheads drinking
Fish have no concept of fire
I am uglier than you imagine
We live, as we dream, alone.
Welcome to role playing game
I knew I couldn't build a cat
It's a jailbreak; we're free.
So her hat does not blow away
underwear as an erogenous zone
My cruelest breakup letter ever
Splinters from a Scrabble Board
The girl wants something harder
Today I feel like a tiger shark
a small red light in a dark car
A pig, in a cage, on antibiotics
How to turn around in the street
Nibbled to death by ducks (idea)
Today I'm glad I work in a diner
the last time I saw Orson Welles
A trip to a minimalist restaurant
Do you want to cuddle in my tent?
For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.
Gamera is friend to all children!
The Princess No-One Could Silence
The importance of cardboard boxes
You break my mind in a subtle way
Condoms. Tampax. Aspirin. Ecstasy.
Making her presence known (part 2)
These are the dreams that break us
Wombats in light speed experiments
Yesterday I kissed the girl I love
Things inside the fort in Minnesota
Unter Adolf waere's anderes gewesen
Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
A problem ordering beer in San Diego
Dear anonymous. Here is your moment.
Et nous aussi nous serons meres, car
Everything you just read is bullshit
How do you get a Goth out of a tree?
how long can you go without blinking
i got the wound, if you got the salt
you breathe when your body makes you
Chinatown (idea) by dTaylorSingleTary
You tasted like a gumdrop, lemon lime
Love for animals is often a substitute
leftover parts of autumnal sun dimming
yonder deadfromtheneckup graduate of a
A Day in the Life of a Blackjack Dealer
But alas, I have no badger to offer you
I pray to God I can find the other sock
So this one-legged man walks into a bar
When you sell a cigarette for a quarter
a bit of ash in his face keeps him warm
Finding justice in a small town in Texas
Guerilla Aphorisms From Schiphol Airport
I was a prisoner in a Mexican whorehouse
Sad little spiral-bound notebook diaries
Television does more than rot your brain
The Serial Killer Jailbait Airline Lotto
It's 2 in the morning and I own the world
This is this. This is not something else.
The hidden danger of school lunch programs
There could still be a reunion of The Band
This will be the hardest thing you ever do
You are precious to me. Did you know that?
Guns don't kill people. Robots kill people.
January 19, 2003 (idea) by Dorkboyisnotcool
Revel in your nature as a chemical reaction
You are not special. You will die here, too.
they leap just because they can, out of joy
Maybe Yes, Maybe No (A Classic Chinese Tale)
Paint thinner, diarrhoea and the clear light
Weird headless death cult of writer apostles
Who's going to believe a nine-year-old girl?
flowers in a sea of calm blue glass . rattle
Fractal sabotage: a corporate comedy thriller
The Backdoor Skullfuck: A Tale Of Acquisition
huddled around the story as if it were a fire
one's not half two. It's two are halves of one
Choose your words carefully; now throw them away
Free your mind, add some pizzazz to your writing
I want to be a whale when I grow up. Or a squid.
Noun: a rustling, especially of a woman's skirts
We're all missing the point on computer security
When an octopus becomes upset, it may eat itself
I fought popular culture, and popular culture won
The tragedy of finding the love of your life at 22
Gregory visits places where they tell him he grew up
I'll trade you three nodeshells for some inspiration
Grandma's brain exploded; thereafter, things improved
Sometimes when I'm alone I can't believe that I'm real
Women rape too, they just don't get in trouble for it.
Never do card tricks for the people you play poker with
A funny thing happened to me in the parking garage today
Once when I got like this I thought I was building a boat
Because we are all real people, and none of us is innocent
Kiss me, you are beautiful. These are truly the last days.
These people from the other village smell wrong! Kill them!
self-referential nostalgia of questionable historical value
Sometimes, it's awfully hard to respect you as an individual
I took the liberty of assigning all my specialness to my anus
Seven footfalls. A tiny clank as a hand touches the doorknob.
When the traffic lights switch to "blinking red" for the night
I did not tell him, instead I kept it private like a secret hug
This is the closest you'll ever get to an inspirational message
You love these machines. These machines are dead: a love story.
We can meet her for you wholesale: a dreaming girl's singularity
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Amazing what you can do with a paperclip and a snapped elastic band
There were people on the Titanic who waved away the dessert trolley
Questions I would ask my born-again sister, if we were still talking
Brad, what if I told you I belonged to a network of freedom fighters?
I've got a page one story buried in my yard; I've got a troubled mind
The other day I saw a gas station called Space Age! I was not fooled!
What I'm trying to say is that I may have unconsciously plagiarized this
The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.
She dreamt she was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty field
A smiling girl with blonde eyelashes and a sun dress; someday I'll find her
I'm the most off-beat genius you ever knew; I'm so iconoclastic I'm clastic
Once every thousand years a little bird comes to this rock to sharpen its beak
We should all be in straitjackets. Or rule the world. No middle ground exists.
I am clothed when other people go almost naked through the frozen cities in winter
If someone wants to do something and it isn't hurting you...DON'T BE A FUCKING DICK
It's all a blank, which makes me think something far far worse has actually happened
There's nothing sadder than an unemployed stripper with a sick car at Christmas time
in the real world, it is almost always women and not men who are waiting under windows
There are only these moments strong and fiery. The rest is love and your imminent departure.
I want to napalm an area the size of Kansas and laugh at the inadequacy of the word "immolate"
That whole bedroom thing wouldn't have happened if you hadn't tried to explain Quantum Physics
Her innocence fell. She kicked at it some, frowned, and left it there because it was beautiful.
We are all sitting on our asses, simultaneously staring blankly at computer screens all over the world
Would you like to penetrate her shell, insinuating yourself among the pages of the books she is reading?
I fear that you are planning an aerodynamic mythological coup. I pray this does not interfere with our dinner plans.
Every time I see a dead fish that isn't, I think of you. Happiness keeps washing over me like a wave. What do I do with it all?
Cast iron boiler, old slate roof, graying wife; these are the things he intended to replace. Still, he would repair the picket fence.
She was a committed romantic and an anarcha-feminist. This was hard for her because it meant she couldn't blow up beautiful buildings.
this is laughter:
THE LOUD NODE
Porn In Hamlet
Sex with trees
CAPITALS AT LAST
Wanna buy a duck
heard at Wal-Mart
Stand Up For Judas
Dammit! I can't win
Letter to Dr. Laura
Essential dirty jokes
The cat is a liberal!
Dinosaurs in the Bible
English As She Is Spoke
Taking Down Large Larry
Who Let the Gophers Out
Picasso on Stalin's cock
customer : nutty nut girl
My friend is a Russian spy
See Dick defenestrate Jane
Shortest lived ad campaign
Time travelers please help!
Cockroaches in the microwave
Fucked up Facts from History
How to keep your sugar daddy
Native American super powers
On becoming work's pr0n nazi
The single sickest joke ever
Country music played backwards
Daily Humour: October 21, 2000
How to have sex with a chicken
Laura Bush on great literature
Slashdot Troll's Greatest Hits
How to become a better anorexic
Probably the saddest thing ever
Life in Our Anti-Christian America
The gravity shortage (idea) by kareneliot
Don't let Karma bite you in the ass
The night Taco Bell ran out of meat
Would you like to see me masticate?
nut, anklenut, kaatunut, donfreenut
"weird" is "EI", you fucking idiots!
Big fish, little fish, cardboard box
Campaign Slogans that Shouldn't Work
Do men think about sex all day long?
The "Moon": A Ridiculous Liberal Myth
The pussification of the American cat
The training exercise with the candle
Which pepper would you eat? (results)
odd characters: the bathroom cerberus
Freudian slips at the ice skating rink
Gang warfare at your local Burger King
why I will never drink root beer again
How to be a Gangsta (in 5 simple steps)
How to seem smarter than you really are
Jesus bitch-slapping the money changers
Kill, kill; blood makes the grass grow!
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI
I see you've played knifey spoony before
Newton's Rape Manual and other surprises
CIA World Factbook - Cardboard Box Cities
From the shower, I nearly saved the world
"Dangerous chemicals": Absurd liberal myth
I will show you fear in a handful of ducks
Is forbidden the camping and the nakedness
How to revive a failing online conversation
The wit and wisdom of Jean Claude Van Damme
How Pikachu Would Sing "A Bushel and a Peck"
Stroking penguins without a permit : $10,000
The tentacles are small and brightly colored
Warning to travellers from an Arab gentleman
Best homenode bits of accounts I have deleted
Why does your deaf brother need a cell phone?
A guy gets on an airplane with a Buddhist joke
How to kill a rabid raccoon with a handmade oar
If you're happy and you know it click this node
Never get into a staring contest with a Pikachu
A funny thing happened on my way to the courthouse
Annoying, affectless hipster kids in record stores
Boy suspended for pointing chicken finger like gun
Sturm und Wang: The Great Phallic Upheaval of 2003
Dinner party etiquette: the Jesus of Nazareth Guide
I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream (idea) by juliet
The newly discovered erotic works of H. P. Lovecraft
You're awfully fucking fat for someone with leukaemia
I'm a Chicken-Hawk, and I'm gonna eat me some chickens
Japanese puns that are not funny but at least are puns
I want to watch pornography, but my pornograph is broken
My brain went on vacation and left my pancreas in charge
When too much Dungeons and Dragons changes your religion
25 ways not to tell someone that you're in love with them
This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum
You really shouldn't let people you don't know tie you up
Dorm room policies discriminate against heterosexual couples
A spider amongst the bananas, the perils of owning a fruit shop
Please steal my car and drive it off of the Golden Gate Bridge.
Sausages are vegetables and other anecdotes about vegetarian diet
How to convert binary to English in your head (idea) by Azure Monk
Soy trippin ' mi saco de la tuerca en un frenesí del juego del dik
The Devil went home crying and Jesus never even showed up (person)
When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
She dumped me when she found out I'd been faking my Scottish accent
Jews for Jesus followed my friend Yosef into a single-toilet restroom
I can squish the cat until he makes a funny sound and his eyes bug out
Where were you when someone asked where you were when something happened
Don't worry, Republic of South Moluccas. *I* recognize your independence.
No matter what I did to fix it, the damn thing never got everything right
Manual Operation of Train Signals (or "Making ding-ding with no choo-choo")
If you work in customer service, you will eventually deal with stupid people
The Everything People Registry : USA : Cardboard Box Cities Behind Wal-Marts
Where were you when the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded? (place) by wharfinger
So there I was, naked and hiding, facing the dissertation committee from the Isle of Lesbos
The true story of how I beat the crap out of King Kong, on top of the Empire State Building
Toothpicks: Harmless tools useful in maintaining dental hygiene, or HORRIBLE, DEADLY WEAPONS!?
My Angst Ate my Suffering in a Void of Meaningless Existential Nihilistic Self-Oppression: An Poem
The policeman wanted to know why I was stuffing her into that bag. Well, the other bag was too small.
this is knowledge:
Thou art God
Kill Haole Day
The Iron Dream
gomi no sensei
Axiom of Choice
Death Race 2000
gay fruit flies
Grand Theft Auto
Orgy of the Dead
James Tiptree Jr.
The Harvard Comma
The Twelve Tables
The cracker scale
The Trial of Jesus
Welcome to Spectre
Banzhaf Power Index
Belle and Sebastian
Five Percent Nation
The Loving Decision
The Third Policeman
When am I an adult?
crisis of democracy
death by multimeter
my birds masturbate
Jordan curve theorem
The Grand Inquisitor
Zimbabwe food crisis
The Sustainable House
Wiring a home network
72 Virgins in Paradise
Torture Tariff of 1757
Exploding Head Syndrome
Julius Caesar's illness
Look at the Harlequins!
The Price of Oil (idea)
Victorian Novel Disease
Did Nixon beat his wife?
Night of the Living Dead
Operation Praying Mantis
Seeing the fnords on MTV
the Saragossa Manuscript
the millennium baby hoax
Current Leadership Theory
Fun with feminine hygiene
The Nixon-Presley Meeting
Things not to say in Thai
Treaty of Aix-la-Chapelle
CIA World Factbook - Earth
Espionage in the Civil War
Is this good for the Jews?
Reagan and Neoconservatism
A better life through lying
Getting your work published
Signs of compulsive debting
polluting the AOL namespace
How my name sounds backwards
How to create silver pennies
Probability Density Function
The SAS five second knockout
The biggest dose of LSD ever
Under the Sea (thing) by tes
Freemasons in the White House
How interactive fiction works
How to survive against humans
Paint your computer's monitor
The Delicate Art of the Rifle
Using /dev/audio to eavesdrop
Fungus that eats Compact Discs
On being sane in insane places
The Catholic rite for Exorcism
reeding on United States coins
Dear Kimberly-Clark Corporation
How to suppress women's writing
Mises Institute on Noam Chomsky
The Rocky Horror Punk Rock Show
The horse that freed the slaves
The owls are not what they seem
How to get a 19" monitor for free
In Memory of the Kronstadt Revolt
Some questions for George W. Bush
The Reznor-Amos-Gaiman Conspiracy
Tokyo is not the capital of Japan
A Left-Handed Commencement Address
A Power of Facing Unpleasant Facts
Coup and counter-coup in Venezuela
Reading from the Windows Clipboard
Scylla and Charybdis Approximately
The Chicago Prostitute War of 1857
how crackers break copy protection
Incumbency in the American Congress
Insert cockroach #2 and press enter
Why GNU is pronounced with a hard G
Breasts, otters, creativity and greed
Don't force your gay philosophy on me
Eight Myths of Economic Globalization
Nicaragua v. United States of America
Notes on Venezuela's new constitution
People who don't capitalize their I's
Edward Dmytryk's rules of film editing
I hate Ronald Reagan, but I love He-Man
The Bangkok Tuk Tuk Driver Jewelry Scam
Absence of proof is not proof of absence
How to turn an axolotl into a salamander
On the homogeneity of ethnicity in Japan
Old chestnut: divisible by two through 10
Target areas of the body for self defense
The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick
Writing .com files with DOS debug (thing)
Augmentative and alternative communication
How to write sex and violence - tastefully
Senator Robert Byrd and the Roman Republic
The top secret of talking like an American
Having an S on a transcript rather than a B
Simple tricks anyone can use to hustle pool
How can a good Buddhist work in advertising?
Mathematics is the surest way to immortality
The quickest way to crash Windows NT/2000/XP
Unstoppable Illegal Operation Dialog of Doom
least popular foods in the U.S. Armed Forces
Why the Borg have such terrible fashion sense
How to lie your way across the Canadian border
How to speed without getting a speeding ticket
How to Avoid Changing the Value of 5 in FORTRAN
How to properly assemble a combat insertion team
The Value of a College Degree - Computer Science
the worst children's book ever (thing) by teleny
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
God made the integers, all else is the work of man
How to unintentionally steal an air-to-air missile
How do you know the fishes are enjoying themselves?
How to improve your chances of winning at blackjack
One example of why you should pick titles carefully
Pick a nose, any nose : Cosmetic Surgery in society
Single space after a period at the end of a sentence
Behind the scenes at a supermarket produce department
Fidel Castro's Response to the September 11th Attacks
The actual facts behind the McDonald's coffee lawsuit
((12 + 144 + 20 + (3 * 4^1/2)) / 7) + (5 * 11) = 9^2 + 0
High School Yearbook from the Manzanar Concentration Camp
How to win bets and make enemies with a simple card trick
Effects on an unprotected human body in the vacuum of space
esta sentencia está en español cuando usted no está mirando
Proof that there exist irrational a,b for which a^b is rational
All-purpose, handy-dandy Copyright Release/Permission Request Form
Java is no good for nuclear power plants (idea) by Princess Therion
Creating a password to convince yourself you have traveled back in time
Mr. Rogers' Commencement Speech for the Dartmouth College class of 2002
Using Asteroids to explain the topological classification of 2-manifolds
A Master's Thesis Proposal: Wittgenstein, Foucault, language, and the self
"Ha ha," says the Israeli voter to the American voter, "don't talk to me about the lesser of two evils."
A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have
this is creepy:
January 11, 2008
quantum Zeno effect
Bizarre psychology experiments
Horrific blood-snot nasal explosion
Revelation of the Lamb in Four Parts
Dogs don't have souls, so it doesn't matter
At a high enough voltage everything conducts
Would you know if you were insane? (idea) by whizkid
introspection is probably not as valuable as you think
Making the Movies XXII The Dangers of Employing Redskins as Movie Actors