A teddy bear with teeth and pheromones
That's what I am child, right down to my bones.
If I seem soft and sweet, and nice ...
Then does my countenance entice
You closer to my hairy paws?
You will not see these sharpened claws.
That linger, longingly in wait
'Til you, in unsuspecting state
Come cuddling close, with half-closed eyes.
Ah, then you'll get a big surprise!
"Oh teddy, I'm safe when you're near"
You whisper trusting in my ear.
How could your innocent small head
Know that the object of your dread
Lies closer than your troubled dreams?
Your mother hears no silly screams
Only a stifled little yelp.
The buckle from your Boy Scout belt
Is all that's left when morning comes.
And Ted, sat slyly, on his thumbs.
"Bad bear, oh now what have you done?
You made a morsel of my son!"
But Ted just sits there, like a sphynx,
Looks Mother up and down, and winks ...