Disclaimer: This is a RANT. I am ranting as if I were speaking to this professor, who shall remain unnamed only until I get a grade on this project.
I'd like to start by saying up front that you are the worst professor I have ever worked with. Yes, even worse than the majority of WPI's math professors, and the Computer Science TAs. You are an atrocious, ill-tempered, spineless, hypocritical, jello-brained bitch from hell.
Let's discuss the differences between what you see coming from our project group and what I see coming from you. We have missed no meetings. Sure, one of us might not have been able to make it once or twice, but that's nowhere near as bad as yourself, who can never seem to be in the same place at the same time two weeks in a row. How about emails? We ask you for input, for replies, and it takes you at LEAST a week. I don't care where you are, even if you're in Timbuktu, you can reply to your email.
And then there's the little bit about our classes. Yes, we taught classes for this project, but it's not like you'd know. We held them every Monday night at 7pm in Morgan A, just like we said we did, but you never showed up.
And let's not forget the part about goals for this project. This project was YOUR idea. Not ours. We took this project because we were informed it was easier to get an advisor for a project that they proposed. So, we did, and we jumped through your hoops, but the goals always changed, sometimes until we were doing the complete opposite of how we started. Yet still, whatever we do is never enough. Whenever we asked for your assistance, you told us that it wasn't your job. You couldn't spare the time. You couldn't go over our paper with us, we had to find someone else for that. You couldn't help us contact the Worcester Art Museum staff you claimed to have contacts with, because it wasn't your job. Evidently, not much was.
Your latest example of slackerish advising was the "timely return" of our paper draft. You said, as long as we had it either in your mailbox or on your door before 6pm on Tuesday night, you'd have it back to us by our meeting with you on Wednesday. It was on your bulletin board at 5:15pm, but you didn't have it on Wednesday.. or Thursday, or Friday, or Monday, even. It took you a full week to go over the first 8 pages of the first draft of this school year. And yes, you asked for 20 pages, but we have LIVES. We can't WRITE 20 pages in one week and still do our other classes, projects, jobs, clubs, and spend time with our families. And if we HAD written 20 pages, if it took you a week to go over 8, would it have taken you the rest of the TERM to go over 20?
So you claim that we're poor writers, and that we have no sense of grammar. How did I graduate from a highly acclaimed private high school with a grade point average of 96 if I was too stupid to write? How did I score HIGHER on my verbal on my SAT's than my math? How is it that in my humanities classes at WPI, with Professor Samson, the nicest professor I have EVER met, I got straight A's in all his classes and on all his papers? It wasn't my attendance, let me tell you. It was because I AM quite capable of writing. Oh, so you want to blame it on my roomate and fellow partner, Ivan256? Well, how is it he got A's on both of his other projects, if he can't write? Let's face it, you are WAY out of line telling us we have no futures as writers. Right now, I have several short stories and some decent poetry that let me know if I wanted to, I could write for a living. You are hellspawn for belittling us, and you are less than human for thinking that we would actually CARE about your opinion, since we have about as much respect for you as we do for a greasy, slimy maggot. I respect the janitor of the CS building far more than I respect you. He's a nice guy, and he doesn't say "that's not my job" when someone asks him to do something for them that is in the DEFINITION of his job. We expect you to advise us. Hence your title, project "advisor", yet somehow, that was never your job.
So we expect YOU to put more effort into this project. Unfortunately, we can't fail you as our advisor, though if we could, we would have 3 weeks in, by which time you had missed 3 meetings and replied to ZERO emails. What we can do is take this to the Provost, and hope that he sees how delinquent you were in advising this project, and that if there is anyone to blame for its failure, it was you.
</RANT>
Ahh, now I feel a little better.