He walked to the door of the
restaurant, to try and at least give me some
notice, some warning that they were going to walk in.
As it was, I didn't want to be sitting in the back,
sweating and nervous as
the woman
I lost my heart to two years ago walked in, as we saw each other
for the first time in a a little over a year... So I got up, and walked to her
as she entered.
She looked at me, her head tilted ever-so-slightly.
"Hug?"
My own girlfriend, a woman I love very much, had left the day previous to
Maine
for two weeks.
Amanda had just arrived, for an indeterminate amount of time.
She'd traveled far, over two thousand miles, on a
greyhound bus.
...
We spent a few
hours sitting at the
bar and grill, her, myself, a close
friend, and his
ex-girlfriend. Our relationships started at the same time,
and both
ended within the span of two days, almost a year later... And none
of the
wounds, for either of us, had completely healed.
I'd like to say that we
laughed, and
talked, just as
good friends do,
but that's not quite the truth... The
tension was a physical thing, you could
see it in
every move,
every breath anyone made.
We
parted ways a little under an hour ago, and I'm
not quite right yet.
I doubt I will be for some time, and I imagine that I'm going to have to
cancel
tomorrow's tentative
coffee date with them.
I don't want to be
with her, I don't still
love her...
In fact, she's
hardly the same person anymore...
But
I don't want to see her, not right now. I don't want to look at her lips,
and think that
once,
a long time ago, we kissed. That we were
in love,
that we were
invincible, that we were the world.
She hurt me more than she will ever know. She tore apart my world. And I don't
want to feel anything when it comes to her, anything at all... Not now, maybe
not ever.
My life has moved on.