February 18, 1996
Hi everybody. I'm sending out a general announcement about animals. I have come up with a new way of looking at animals. Animals come in all shapes and sizes. Some are big and some are little. Some have hair, some have claws, and some don't walk upright. Some have wings, and some don't even have arms or legs! Starting today, I'm no longer going to look at animals and say that animals look different than us because "that's how God made them", or because of "genetics". From now on, I'm going to look at animals and say to myself "Good god! That's a terribly deformed human!". I'm going to look at animals from the point of view that they are supposed to look like humans. This will make looking at animals quite funny, and when I encounter animals, I will laugh at them and mock them for being freaks. I think you should try this too.