GOOD DAY TO YOU WINNERS OF THE KING'S BOUNTIES,
IN RESPONSE TO THE KING'S WISHES AS DETAILED IN MY EARLIER CORRESPONDENCE (SEE BELOW) IT IS MY PLEASURE TO INFORM YOU OF THE PRIZES AWARDED IN THE FOLLOWING CATEGORIES:
- Most surviving writeups: MOEYZ
- Writeup with the highest ching/upvote ratio: INTENTIONS
- Highest rep writeup with no chings: AUSPICE
- Highest rep factual: ZEPHRONIAS
- Highest rep fiction, poetry, or other non-factual: MAULER
WINNER OF A $100 BOUNTY FOR THE SPIRIT OF CONTRIBUTION:
TEM42 WHO IS HEREBY AWARDED THE TITLE 'GUARDIAN OF THE KING'S NODEGEL'
THANK YOU TO ALL PARTICIPANTS AND BLESSINGS UPON YOU IN THE NAME OF THE DEPARTED RIGHTFUL KING. EACH PARTICIPANT WISHING TO RECEIVE A CERTIFICATE OF PARTICIPATION SHOULD FORWARD A PHOTOCOPY OF HIS OR HER PASSPORT AS WELL AS A WESTERN UNION MONEY ORDER FOR $15.00 TO THE FOLLOWING 100% REAL AND NOT-FICTIONAL ADDRESS:
OFFICES OF THE FORMER KING
#2 MINISTRY ACCESS ROAD
MINISTER TO THE FORMER KING
GOOD DAY TO YOU SIRS/MADAMS/DISTINGUISHED PERSONAGES OF EVERYTHING2,
MY NAME IS HAQIQAT, FORMER FAMILY BARRISTER AND CLOSE ADVISOR OF THE PREVIOUS KING OF AFGHANISTAN, AHMAD SHAH DURRANI. AS YOU ARE DOUBTLESS AWARE THE KING BEFORE HIS UNTIMELY DEATH WAS FORCED TO FLEE FROM THE COUNTRY OF AFGHANISTAN DUE TO POLITICAL REASONS. HE LEFT BEHIND A SUBSTANTIAL FORTUNE AND IT IS MY DEEPEST REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT HE HAS DIED SUDDENLY SOME YEARS AGO.
MY INVESTIGATIONS HAVE CONCLUDED THAT THERE ARE NO HEIRS TO HIS FORTUNE, BUT I AM WRITING TO YOU WITH A SERIOUS BUSINESS PROPOSITION.
IF YOU CAN ASSIST ME WITH SOME MINOR DETAIL S I WOULD BE WILLING TO SHARE A PART OF THE LATE KING'S FORTUNE WITH YOU IN A CONFIDENTIAL AND PERFECTLY LEGAL ARRANGEMENT.
AS PART OF THE KING'S LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT HE DECREED THAT SOME OF HIS FORTUNE BE DEDICATED TO PRESERVING CERTAIN CULTURAL ARTIFACTS WHICH YOU MAY KNOW AS NODESHELLS.
IF YOU WILL KINDLY FILL NODESHELLS DURING THE MONTH OF DECEMBER 2012 (ANY DATE FROM DECEMBER FIRST AT 12:01 AM UNTIL DECEMBER 31 AT 12:59 PM) YOU WILL BE ELIGIBLE FOR DISBURSEMENT FROM THE FORTUNE OF THE FORMER KING.
YOU MUST ADD EACH FILLED NODESHELL TO THE CATEGORY TITLED CULTURAL ARTIFACTS OR ELSE IT WILL BE RULED VOID AT THE PROBATE COURT IN WHICH AWARDS ARE TO BE PROCESSED.
EACH NODER WHO COMPLETES A TASK IN THE BELOW REQUIREMENTS WILL RECEIVE A $25 (TWENTY FIVE US DOLLARS) AMAZON.COM GIFT CODE OR MAY INSTEAD ELECT TO DONATE THOSE FUNDS INSTEAD TO A CHARITY OF CHOICE:
- Most surviving writeups
- Writeup with the highest ching/upvote ratio
- Highest rep writeup with no chings
EACH NODER WHO COMPLETES A TASK IN THE FOLLOWING LIST WILL RECEIVE A $50 (FIFTY US DOLLARS) AMAZON.COM GIFT CODE OR MAY INSTEAD ELECT TO DONATE THOSE FUNDS INSTEAD TO A CHARITY OF CHOICE:
- Highest rep factual
- Highest rep fiction, poetry, or other non-factual
ALSO AS A LICENSED BARRISTER OF THE MINISTRY OF LAWS IN THE COUNTRY IN WHICH THE FUNDS ARE HELD I HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO SELECT A PANEL OF ADVOCATES WHOM WILL JUDGE EACH CONTRIBUTOR TO THIS QUEST AND THAT PERSON WHO IS FOUND TO EMBODY THE SPIRIT OF CONTRIBUTION THE MOST WILL RECEIVE A $100 (ONE HUNDRED US DOLLARS) AMAZON.COM GIFT CODE OR MAY INSTEAD ELECT TO DONATE THOSE FUNDS INSTEAD TO A CHARITY OF CHOICE.
EACH PERSON MAY ONLY WIN ONE PRIZE, AND WILL AUTOMATICALLY RECEIVE THE HIGHEST PRIZE FOR WHICH THEY QUALIFY, THUS LEAVING LESSER OR DUPLICATE PRIZES TO BE DISTRIBUTED TO RUNNERS-UP IN EACH CATEGORY.
FURTHERMORE: DUE TO CERTAIN STIPULATIONS OF THE KING'S LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT CERTAIN CATEGORIES ARE NOT LISTED HERE. INSTEAD, THESE PRIZES WILL BE GIVEN OUT BY SECRET OPPORTUNITY, AND THE WINNING PARTICIPANTS WILL NOT KNOW THE REASONS UNTIL THE PRIZES ARE DISTRIBUTED! BUT DO NOT WORRY, THESE SECRET CATEGORIES WILL NOT AFFECT YOUR CHANCES AT WINNING THE ABOVE CATEGORIES!
CERTAIN CULTURAL ARTIFACTS YOU MAY WISH TO PRESERVE CAN BE FOUND HERE:
SHOULD TWO PERSONS ATTEMPT TO PRESERVE THE SAME CULTURAL ARTIFACT, THAT PERSON WHOSE CONTRIBUTION HAS THE HIGHEST SCORE AT THE END OF THE QUEST SHALL RECEIVE CREDIT FOR IT.
PLEASE CONTACT ME WITH FURTHER QUESTIONS SO THAT WE CAN CONCLUDE OUR BUSINESS IN THE MOST TIMELY FASHION.
BARRISTER OF THE FORMER KING OF AFGHANISTAN
CONFIDENTIAL PRIZE DISBURSER
SELECTOR OF JUDGING PANEL
THE FAQ SO FAR:
Condensed rules are as follows:
Fill a nodeshell. Any nodeshell. Once it's filled, add your writeup to the category called CULTURAL ARTIFACTS. Then, go fill some more!
You CAN fill your own nodeshells, but reposting a bunch of your old writeups that have been pulled for whatever reason isn't in the spirit of the quest. Additionally, creating a nodeshell just to fill it is not allowed - this defies the entire concept of nodeshell rescue, which is to fill gaps. Doing otherwise is sort of like digging a hole so you can get paid to fill it in. As a result, participants may only fill their own nodeshells if the nodeshells are at least one year old. You can check the creation date and time of a nodeshell by hovering your mouse over the name of the person who created the nodeshell, a nifty new code addition by Oolong made specifically for this quest.
If you can't add a writeup to a category because you are not a high enough level, you can ask anybody to do it for you who is a high enough level. If you'd rather just pester me about it, that's fine too.
Yes, it's for real. Yes, the prizes are real - Amazon gift codes delivered right to your E2 inbox, no contact information necessary. No, I am not a lawyer. Yes, the king died. It was very sad. Want to add prizes or subquests? Let me know. Have good ideas for secret categories? Also let me know. Not affiliated with Amazon.com in any way. This message not endorsed by any political candidate. Void where prohibited. No purchase necessary.