"21 Questions" is a
"sensitive" rap song by
50 Cent and
Nate Dogg from the Half Dollar's album
Get Rich or Die Tryin'. In it,
Fiddy and
Doggfather Lite pose twenty-one questions to an unnamed woman. The questions are, in order of appearance:
- Would you love me if I was down and out?
- Would you still have love for me?
- If I fell off tomorrow would you still love me?
- If I didn't smell so good would you still hug me?
- If I got locked up and sentenced to a quarter century, could I count on you to be there to support me mentally?
- If I went back to a hoopty from a Benz, would you poof! and disappear like some of my friends?
- If I was hit and I was hurt, would you be by my side?
- If it was time to put in work, would you be down to ride?
- If I ain't rap 'cause I flipped burgers at Burger King, would you be ashamed to tell your friends you feelin' me?
- In bed, if I used my tongue, would you like that?
- If I wrote you a love letter, would you write back?
- Would you leave me if your father found out I was thuggin'?
- Do you believe me when I tell you you're the one I'm loving?
- Are you mad 'cause I'm asking you 21 questions?
- Are you my soul mate?
- Do you trust me enough to tell me your dreams?
- If I was down, would you say things to make me smile?
- If I was with some other chick and someone happened to see, and when you asked me about it I said it wasn't me, would you believe me, or up and leave me?
- How deep is our bond if that's all it takes for you to be gone?
- Could you love me in a Bentley?
- Could you love me on a bus?
There are a few problems with this arrangement, however. First of all, two of these questions (numbers 2 and 19) are merely continuations of other questions, while question 3 is basically a restatement of question 1. So, already, we can see that the song only poses 18 or 19 questions, and that's only if you ignore the fact that the same question (whether or not said anonymous babe would love Fiddy if he suddenly ended up like
MC Hammer) is posed several times in different
guises.
Another issue is 50 Cent's statement that "I love you like a fat kid loves cake." What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is Fiddy a cannibal? Is he saying that he likes oral sex? Is he talking about cake-as-in-birthday, or is he talking about Cake? Do fat kids love Cake? Does 50 Cent like Cake? Does he like cake, for that matter? How many times can I say "cake" before it will lose all of its meaning?
No, Mr. Cent. You will not spew such garbage in my face without reasonable explanation. I demand to know why it has to be "twenty-one questions." If you tell me "'cuz it sounds cool an' shit," I'm going to bust a cap up in your CD.