10 Ways of Dealing With Divorce:
1. Don't
deny what's happening.
Accept it,
feel it,
live it.
2.
Cry,
Scream, Let the
emotion wash over you. Find a place that you can be alone where you feel it's
safe to
let go of all the emotion you feel. Let the emotions come. Let them pass through you.
Feel Everything, Deny Nothing. Take as much time as you need, do it as often as neccessary.
Bottling up the feelings you have will simply prolong the
healing process. Do not be
ashamed.
3. Know that no matter what,
you will be okay. I know it sounds
trite...but if you want to survive it, you will--it's that simple. The
pain and
grief will not last
forever.
4. Create a
loving atmosphere for any
children and your
Ex.
Fighting in front of your children is simply
unacceptable. If you are able to create a loving atmosphere for your Ex, you will not only show that you are willing to work on the
healing, but it is safe to
move on.
5.
It's Only Stuff!! The
couch, the
TV, the
Washer and Dryer can all be replaced! Don't let yourself be walked on, be
fair. But don't fight over
stupid things.
Choose your battles carefully for the things that really matter.
6. Keep yourself busy! Find new things to do. Take some
cooking classes, get
social! Keep in touch with your
friends, go out and
connect.
7. Get
comfortable with being alone. Do not rush yourself. It could take 1 month, or 1 year. The more you become
self-sufficient, the better off you will be in future
relationships...to a point! You will know when you are ready.
8. Don't
blame yourself for everything!
Marriage was a
union of two.
Divorce is a
separation of TWO. Both of you made
mistakes. Accept your portion of the mistakes, acknowledge them, learn from them,
LET THEM GO!! Just
vow not to repeat
history!
9. Release the
power your Ex has over you. Do not let your Ex
push your buttons. No one can
piss you off like your Ex!!! They WILL do it. Once they find a
button, you must
disconnect it--
permanently! It takes time, it takes
patience, it takes
self-discipline. But once you release the power your Ex has over you, you will gain more
self-respect and
freedom.
10. You are
worthy of a new
love!
Don't be afraid. You will know when you are ready, so don't rush yourself. Believe in yourself and be
self-confident. Go.
I've gone through this,
survived and found new love. You will too.
If you want to see what other people are going through, look at
The Worst Things About Divorce.