1. If I wanted pain I'd get back together with my ex.
  2. Satan stole my running shoes.
  3. Why ruin a good hair day?
  4. I'm not licenced to operate heavy machinery.
  5. Lycra brings me out in a rash.
  6. It's Sunday, the day of rest, if I exercise today, I'll burn in hell for eternity.
  7. I spent $10,000 on a car and I should walk?
  8. I need to spend some quality time with my new mattress.
  9. I'm having a birthday-- sometime this year.
  10. What, stop noding?

1

My workout clothes are still dirty. I think they're still in my gym bag from when I used them last month. I can't go to the gym until I clean my workout clothes, but there's not enough clothing in my hamper to justify doing a load of wash right now. I'll have to wait until next laundry day.

2

I don't know what to do when I get there. I need to design a workout routine for myself before going, that way I won't have to stand around the equipment looking like a clueless idiot when I do get there. I'll design the routine this week and then I can go to the gym.

3

My Ipod has no interesting workout music. I must download more music and create a workout mix for myself or I won't feel motivated to workout. I don't feel like don't have time to do it right now though, so I'll just do it later and then I can go to the gym once that's done.

4

It's been so long since I've bothered to actually go that I'm worried the staff will look at me funny, or perhaps mistake me for a newcomer when actually I signed up 6 months ago. I know that I shouldn't care, but I do.

5

I can't exercise on an empty stomach or I might pass out. I'm hungry. I must eat first.

6

Now that I have eaten, my stomach is so full that I can't go now or I'll get cramps. The food must digest.

7

Now that I feel okay to go to the gym, it's so late at night I don't want to go because then my body will get all pumped with energy and it will be difficult for me to fall asleep and I need to wake up early tomorrow. I'll just go tomorrow instead.

8

I completely forgot that I need to write a paper today, so it makes more sense for me to just go home after class and type it up before going to the gym, even though I'll probably watch TV or do something else all night until midnight, which is when I'll panic and finally start my paper.

9

Today is Friday and it makes more sense to wait until Monday, that way it's the beginning of a new week and it will therefore feel like I'm making a fresh start on my exercise goals.

10

You know what, I usually just do sit-ups and push-ups while I'm there anyway, and I have some free weights of my own. I can just work out at home instead. But not until I finish watching this new episode of American Dad that I taped last night. My friend told me that it was a really funny one.

  1. I'm five months pregnant, and my doctor just told me I have placenta previa.
  2. I have congestive heart failure.
  3. I'm recovering from abdominal surgery.
  4. I've got Hepatitis B, and I sweat a lot when I exercise. I don't want to accidentally infect anyone around me.
  5. I've got osteogenesis imperfecta.
  6. I'm recovering from compulsive exercise addiction.
  7. I'm having chest pains.
  8. I'm running a fever.
  9. I've got a concussion.
  10. I had an asthma attack this morning.

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