mona_katz's New Writeupshttp://everything2.com/?node=New%20Writeups%20Atom%20Feed&foruser=mona_katz2012-01-30T00:06:18ZThis Body (personal)http://everything2.com/user/mona_katz/writeups/This+Bodymona_katzhttp://everything2.com/user/mona_katz2012-01-30T00:06:18Z2012-01-30T00:06:18Z<p>This <a href="/title/body">body</a> remembers what its mind cannot. I can feel pieces of disjointed memories tugging at me, begging to be acknowledged. They are present in the waves of nausea that wash over me, in the baseball-sized knots in my <a href="/title/tense">tense</a> back, in the overpowering desire to cover my head as if I am in mourning, in the need to draw my limbs into my middle, sheltering my inner child from harm.</p>
<p>This body is <a href="/title/scared">scared</a>, trying to protect the intangible part of myself from shutting down. From crawling back to who I used to be, from taking refuge in the heaviness of depression.</p>
<p>This body is an animal-child looking at the stars with unblinking eyes, wishing it could take in everything and nothing, holding it all tenderly.</p>
<p>This body is a vessel, <a href="/title/my+home">my home</a>.</p>
<p>∴</p>
<p>This body fears <a href="/title/abandonment">abandonment</a>. It remembers watching him leave for work on a grey, misty morning, the grass still cold with dew and nighttime chill. It still feels the anxiety and loneliness that washed over its younger<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…small things (personal)http://everything2.com/user/mona_katz/writeups/small+thingsmona_katzhttp://everything2.com/user/mona_katz2011-11-27T01:40:19Z2011-11-27T01:40:19Z<p>Exhausted and irritable from being on a bus for five hours, I make my way to a small <a href="/title/coffee+shop">coffee shop</a> where I can drop my many bags and move my body. Sitting here with a warm cup of mint tea, I realized how important the small, seemingly insignificant things are for getting me through the day.</p>
<p>I’m talking about those really <a href="/title/small+things">small things</a>, like walking into the bathroom of a local coffee shop and seeing ‘hey baby’ carved into a wooden baby changing table when I’m feeling ragged, sweaty, and lonely, wishing I had more interesting plans for my Saturday night than sitting in a cafe and going home to watch law & order in bed. Things like stealing a roll of toilet paper for your house, half-listening to a barista you went on a date with earlier this year tell you for the thousandth time about their aches and pains, their obsession with Phish and how bored they get at work, and being granted an awkward smile from a one-night stand’s friend and having that be a reminder of how much better it is that they’re<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…the voice of a child (poetry)http://everything2.com/user/mona_katz/writeups/the+voice+of+a+childmona_katzhttp://everything2.com/user/mona_katz2011-03-21T18:29:41Z2011-03-21T18:29:41Z<p>your gentle voice <a href="/title/caresses+my+lips+like+water">caresses my lips like water</a>
<br>singing songs of the wind
<br>and the wisdom of the moon,
<br>the trees, and the <a href="/title/endless+river+of+loving">endless river of loving</a>.
<br>it winds through my legs like a cat
<br>contended and sleepy.
<br>your voice tickles my back like the fingers
<br>of a mother
<br>encouraging her child to embrace the peace of sleep,
<br>purring.
<br>your voice creeps through my fingers like the
<br>vines of a plant healthy and full,
<br>looking for a place to call home.
<br>Your voice wraps itself in my <a href="/title/tangled">tangled</a>, curly hair
<br>warming me
<br>while the velvety sky and stars blink
<br>with cold, watching eyes
<br>singing songs of sweet melodies
<br>that nuzzle into my neck,
<br>smoothly, softly, hopefully.</p>August 31, 2010 (poetry)http://everything2.com/user/mona_katz/writeups/August+31%252C+2010mona_katzhttp://everything2.com/user/mona_katz2010-08-31T13:30:49Z2010-08-31T13:30:49Z<p>her fingers push through the plants
<br>taking them from a
<br>happy, simple life
<br>in the soil.
<br>soon they themselves will meld with the dirt
<br>as their veins are consumed
<br>by worms
<br>and other creatures that hide in the soft,
<br>mysterious underworld.
<br>from birth
<br>we are <a href="/title/nurtured">nurtured</a> and fed
<br>in death,
<br>we nurture, and our bodies will feed.
<br>from the earth we came,
<br>so to the earth we will go.</p>
<p>humans are nothing more than trees.
<br>instead of leaves of gold,
<br>we have hair that rests on our heads
<br>and sings in the wind.
<br>instead of bark that is home to millions of
<br>tiny creatures
<br>that <a href="/title/possess+wisdom+beyond+our+years">possess wisdom beyond our years</a>,
<br>we have skin
<br>that may someday cradle a growing
<br>human being.
<br>my grandmother's fingers will always remind me of
<br>a <a href="/title/willow+tree">willow tree</a>,
<br>with their crooked knuckles and knots
<br>and veins that run through her hands
<br>like the long, <a href="/title/wispy+branches">wispy branches</a>
<br>of the willow
<br>that gently fall to the ground.</p>
<p><!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…The Bar (idea)http://everything2.com/user/mona_katz/writeups/The+Barmona_katzhttp://everything2.com/user/mona_katz2010-08-04T22:13:02Z2010-08-04T22:13:02Z<p>Last night my mother and I went out to dinner together. For a city slicker like her, eating in a restaurant with a sports bar is common. For a quiet girl from a quiet town, a lot can be learned from watching the people that hang out there. I could not help but laugh as I watched the bar fill up with women wearing cut off shorts and blonde hair fried to the roots, looking for a male companion among the slick, muscle shirts. It happened to be half-price <a href="/title/martini">martini</a> night, which I can only assume drew this type of crowd. Everyone stood in clusters with their martini's, an elegant drink gripped by the orange hands of big, confident men and curvy, <a href="/title/insecure">insecure</a> women. The women came in clusters. They stood close together putting on a good face for the muscles and greased hair surrounding them. They flashed open mouthed smiles at one another. Pulling up their strapless dresses just a little bit, their pants a little lower. The men in the room were oblivious. They talked to whomever they chose, <a href="/title/flirting">flirting</a> and<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…hookah (place)http://everything2.com/user/mona_katz/writeups/hookahmona_katzhttp://everything2.com/user/mona_katz2010-08-04T21:49:55Z2010-08-04T21:49:55Z<p>She sucked the smoke deep into her lungs, relishing the soft, soothing air caught in her throat, sliding into her body. She watched it escape from her mouth in wisps, curling, tumbling, transparent and white like a <a href="/title/banshee">banshee</a>. The room started to spin, she let her eyes relax on a knotted rug. She got up in search of the bathroom, her vision disorienting and dizzy. Gripping the wall to steady her body, she walked in and sat down on the toilet seat wet with pee and water. Graffiti covered the walls. SPOONHER she read, smiling to herself. Back down, she could feel her body drowning under the smoke, she let it engulf her and pull her psyche into its steady, <a href="/title/dream">dream</a>vision arms. She laughed, but it was not the drugs. It was her body. A real laugh that made her feel heavy and her body deep. A boy sat adjacent to her, blowing smoke rings. Curly hair, Jewish appearance. She stared at him and he noticed. It was the <a href="/title/tobacco">tobacco</a> looking, not her. He sat with a strawberry-blonde haired girl who brought the<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…