craze's New Writeupshttp://everything2.com/?node=New%20Writeups%20Atom%20Feed&foruser=craze2008-06-04T07:41:06ZAuto-Coffee Speedup-Shutdown (person)http://everything2.com/user/craze/writeups/Auto-Coffee+Speedup-Shutdowncrazehttp://everything2.com/user/craze2008-06-04T07:41:06Z2008-06-04T07:41:06Z<p>A man sips at his coffee to rest his hand from his writing and to make sure his beverage doesn't go cold while he <a href="/title/distractions">toils</a>.<br />
He misses his <a href="/title/masturbation">"inelegant conversations"</a>.<br />
He hates all of these sleepwalkers-- <a href="/title/How+to+survive+against+humans">zombies</a>.<br />
They rub off on him.<br />
They don't see <a href="/title/think+out+side+the+box">the boxes</a> they put themselves in.<br />
"<a href="/title/creativity">There is no fucking box</a>," he scoffs to himself.<br />
He acts as them--<br />
No agenda. No reality. <a href="/title/specialization+is+for+insects">No life to speak of</a>.<br />
Is this the trap of the city?<br />
Is this how lives are caged and consumed?<br />
He thinks so.<br />
He rests his pen again as his coffee continues to cool.<br /><br>
The flow of energy in the Universe never stops or slows.<br /><br>
<p><a href="/title/ADD">His mind wanders</a>.<br />
He doesn't see or care where it goes.<br />
It escapes him.<br />
Even though his eyes never shut,<br />
<a href="/title/third+eye">he forgets reality</a> and walks down a path in<!-- close unclosed tag --></p><!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…How to be a geek (idea)http://everything2.com/user/craze/writeups/How+to+be+a+geekcrazehttp://everything2.com/user/craze2006-11-13T15:31:00Z2006-11-13T15:31:00Z<p align="center"><b>WARNING!</b><br>
If you're reading this, you are almost certainly a geek!
<hr>--<br><a href="/title/satire">--</a><br>
</p>
<p align="justify"><a href="/title/Wikipedia">Wikipedia</a> kindly defines a geek as a person "who is fascinated, perhaps obsessively, by technology and imagination," and Merriam-Webster's Dictionary says a geek is "a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken or snake."</p>
<p align="justify">Geeks tend to enjoy cyber social-interaction over rotting in meatspace. In this, geeks often pursue mental stimulation and honing technical skills like <a href="/title/frag">fragging</a> in the latest version of <a href="/title/Quake">Quake</a> (w00t) or <a href="/title/winning+against">pwning</a> <a href="/title/new+players">n00bs</a> in the latest version of <a href="/title/Unreal">Unreal</a> over destroying valuable skin cells from <a href="/title/sun+light">solar radiation</a>. Their constant efforts to better themselves often requires them multi-task and eat while keeping their mind active. It is not uncommon to find in <a href="/title/cyberspace">the internets</a> persons who have skills that "a<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…The Convenience Store FAQ (thing)http://everything2.com/user/craze/writeups/The+Convenience+Store+FAQcrazehttp://everything2.com/user/craze2006-06-18T11:50:55Z2006-06-18T11:50:55Z1q) Do you deal in services and <a href="/title/Blinker+Fluid">merchandise that do not exist</a> on this city / nation / planet / universe?<br>
1a) No, <a href="/title/convenience+stores">convenience stores</a> are unable to provide <a href="/title/Elbow+grease">goods and services that do not exist</a>. In fact there are very few people or establishments that can provide this. If you find someone who can, they are either ripping you off, or a very good <a href="/title/drug+dealer">drug dealer</a>.<br><br>
2q) Can you provide me with the telephone number / fax number / eMail / address / sexy photos of a <a href="/title/A+quiet+evening%2527s+drive+with+a+presumed+drug+dealer">drug dealer</a>?<br>
2a) No. Convenience store clerks deal in selling <a href="/title/junk+food">goods</a> and <a href="/title/blow+jobs">services</a> within the store itself. As we do not allow for drug dealers to do business in affiliation with our store, we are unable to provide you with such information. We do have a <a href="/title/How+to+buy+drugs+in+the+ghetto">telephone book</a>.<br><br>
3q) Can I buy a telephone book?<br>
3a) Sorry, we don't actually sell the book, we just have one for personal use. We…April 1, 2006 (idea)http://everything2.com/user/craze/writeups/April+1%252C+2006crazehttp://everything2.com/user/craze2006-04-01T22:32:48Z2006-04-01T22:32:48ZI don't really do daylogs, but I've read these letters so many times in the last day I figured it was worth posting somewhere. I hate emotions, nostalgia, and all of those damn feelings that make you feel old, helpless, and alone. Life goes by so fast, it seems. I wish I had more memories of love. I wish I could accept more people into my life, but scar tissue heals so tough, and it's always too sensitive to let someone touch.
<hr><hr><hr>
<a href="/title/Name+deleted">Sandra</a>,<br><br>
Today we commemorate your entrance into this world 21 years ago. Over the last seven years (<a href="/title/I+never+knew+life+could+go+so+fast">gawd that number sounds insane</a>), I know I personally have grown very fond of your existance in this world. Without you I wouldn't be who am today. Not that I am anyone important, cool, or remotely interesting, but we did grow together physically and emotionally through high school in a very literal way. When i met you we were two teens that just wanted to be ourselves, and I think we succeeded at this. I know…How to eat an Oreo cookie (idea)http://everything2.com/user/craze/writeups/How+to+eat+an+Oreo+cookiecrazehttp://everything2.com/user/craze2006-03-27T06:42:21Z2006-03-27T06:42:21Z<p><a href="/title/iambic">Foolish mortal</a>! This is not how the gods intend you to go about this vile task! The devouring of an <a href="/title/oreo">oreo</a> is far more sinister than the manner you have depicted it! This task is more like the murder, no slaughter of the innocent than a lazy sunday afternoon's snack! Dub me uncool if you must, <a href="/title/iambic">iambic</a>, but I shall bestow upon the masses the truth! I shall spare them your sober musings! Soon we shall strike! Soon we shall stand invincible; reigning above cookies like gods above men! (insert evil laughter here)</p>
<p><b><u>Obtain the following items to properly see your way through this quest:<!-- close mismatched tag --></u></b><br>
1: <a href="/title/Oreo">Oreo</a> Cookies or <a href="/title/hydrox">Oreoesque substitute</a><br>
2: <a href="/title/Whole+milk">Whole milk</a> (no other grade is acceptable)<br>
3: <a href="/title/Goblet">Goblet</a> or other liquid-bearing vessel<br>
4: <a href="/title/Sacrificial+alter">Sacrificial alter</a> or other surface to stage your goods
5: <a href="/title/Psychotropic">Psychotropic</a> substances (optional)</p>
<p><b><u>Your prime objective:</u></b><br>
To begin this quest, first you must prepare you body and soul for the horrors<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…Gone in Sixty Seconds 2006 - Theatre Quest Entries (idea)http://everything2.com/user/craze/writeups/Gone+in+Sixty+Seconds+2006+-+Theatre+Quest+Entriescrazehttp://everything2.com/user/craze2006-03-23T07:27:47Z2006-03-23T07:27:47Z<p><b>I <a href="/title/%2526hearts%253B">♥</a> geeks.</b><br>
<small>By: Sly Penguin<!-- close inline tag into block --></small></p><small><!-- reopen inline tag after block --></small>
<p><i>There are two t-shirt clad persons, one male one female, sitting close to each other both playing videogames on the floor facing the front of the stage with a dim blue light emulating a <a href="/title/television+set">television set</a>.</i></p>
<p><i>female:(with excitement gesturing to screen)</i> HAHA! YES! DOUBLE KILL!<br>
<i>male:(with excitement gesturing to female)</i> HAHA! YES! <a href="/title/BOOBIES">BOOBIES</a>!</p>
<p><i>to black</i></p>