Kielziz's New Writeupshttp://everything2.com/?node=New%20Writeups%20Atom%20Feed&foruser=Kielziz2000-09-06T04:02:03ZStructural Integrity of Minivans at High Speeds (idea)http://everything2.com/user/Kielziz/writeups/Structural+Integrity+of+Minivans+at+High+SpeedsKielzizhttp://everything2.com/user/Kielziz2000-09-06T04:02:03Z2000-09-06T04:02:03ZSince I just got <a href="/title/fired">fired</a> from <a href="/title/Toys+R+Us">Toys R Us</a>, I have something in common with many other people my age.<br><br>
<a href="/title/I+have+no+money">I have no money</a>.<br><br>
I can't afford my own car. So, I get to use the family <a href="/title/minivan">minivan</a>. Hooray. Well, being a <a href="/title/teenage+driver">teenage driver</a>, I like to go fast, when I can. And I mean <a href="/title/fast">fast</a>.<br><br>
This past weekend I <a href="/title/visit">visit</a>ed my friends at <a href="/title/college">college</a>, and on the way there, I had to <a href="/title/drive">drive</a> down a lengthy section of <a href="/title/476">476</a>. It was about 11:30 at <a href="/title/night">night</a>, so there were very few people <a href="/title/on+the+road">on the road</a>. There was my <a href="/title/chance">chance</a>: the <a href="/title/left+lane">left lane</a> was clear, for <a href="/title/mile">mile</a>s ahead. Signalling, I <a href="/title/pull">pull</a>ed into the '<a href="/title/high-speed">high-speed</a>' <a href="/title/lane">lane</a>, and <a href="/title/grin">grin</a>ned at my friends.<br><br>
<b>I <a href="/title/floored">floored</a> the <a href="/title/fucker">fucker</a>.</b><br><br>
Fortunately for me, the <a href="/title/%2527rents">'rents</a> had decided to <a href="/title/opt">opt</a> for the 3.0L <a href="/title/V6">V6</a>, so at least my <a href="/title/Windstar">Windstar</a> had some <a href="/title/huevos">huevos</a> behind it. The engine <a href="/title/whine">whine</a>d through the second and third <a href="/title/gear">gear</a> (gotta love 4-speed <a href="/title/automatic+overdrive">automatic overdrive</a>), and once the speedometer hit 70, the van <a href="/title/lurched">lurched</a> ahead as it kicked into…wet willy (idea)http://everything2.com/user/Kielziz/writeups/wet+willyKielzizhttp://everything2.com/user/Kielziz2000-09-05T17:40:59Z2000-09-05T17:40:59Z<a href="/title/Wet">Wet</a> willies are the <a href="/title/toddler">toddler</a> <a href="/title/precursor">precursor</a> to <a href="/title/swirlies">swirlies</a> and <a href="/title/wedgies">wedgies</a>. If pranks were insects, this one is the <a href="/title/mosquito">mosquito</a> of the prank world.<br><br>
Some <a href="/title/devil">devil</a>lish youth <a href="/title/licks">licks</a> his finger and leaves it <a href="/title/sloppy">sloppy</a>. Then, when someone <a href="/title/least">least</a> expects it, he plunges toward the <a href="/title/unsuspecting">unsuspecting</a> person's <a href="/title/ear">ear</a>, and drives his <a href="/title/sopping+wet">sopping wet</a> finger home. Most often accompanied by a <a href="/title/shrill+scream">shrill scream</a> and instant <a href="/title/covering">covering</a> of the <a href="/title/ear">ear</a>s.How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph (idea)http://everything2.com/user/Kielziz/writeups/How+I+was+thrown+from+a+car+at+45+mphKielzizhttp://everything2.com/user/Kielziz2000-09-01T19:16:23Z2000-09-01T19:16:23ZFor the past <a href="/title/two+months">two months</a> I've been <a href="/title/relatively">relatively</a> <a href="/title/unable">unable</a> to use my left arm for <a href="/title/lifting">lifting</a> anything heavier than a <a href="/title/suitcase">suitcase</a>. <a href="/title/Why">Why</a>, you might ask? Simple. I was <a href="/title/thrown">thrown</a> from a <a href="/title/car">car</a>. 'Now, that's a <a href="/title/stupid+stupid+thing">stupid stupid thing</a>, Kiel,' you say. <a href="/title/Oh+yes">Oh yes</a>. Let be begin by <a href="/title/explain">explain</a>ing how <i>not</i> to get thrown from a car.<br><br>
The most <a href="/title/important">important</a> part of all of this is to <b>never sit on the <a href="/title/door">door</a> of a <a href="/title/car">car</a>.</b> Especially if you're on the outside, and the <a href="/title/window">window</a>'s down, and you think it's a <a href="/title/good+place+to+sit">good place to sit</a>. It's <a href="/title/really">really</a> not. Oh, and if the car happens to be <a href="/title/running">running</a>, and the driver's sitting in the <a href="/title/driver%2527s+seat">driver's seat</a>, that greatly increases the <a href="/title/odds">odds</a> of being thrown <a href="/title/violent">violent</a>ly. Especially if <a href="/title/your+friend+is+a+dick">your friend is a dick</a>.<br><br>
So basically, it all <a href="/title/happened+like+this">happened like this</a>: I was with about 10 of my <a href="/title/friends">friends</a>, and we were sitting in the <a href="/title/Acme">Acme</a> <a href="/title/parking+lot">parking lot</a> late at night. I was bored, and looking for somewhere to sit, so I decided (<a href="/title/stupidly">stupidly</a>) to sit on the door of the <a href="/title/passenger+side">passenger side</a> of my…M1A1 Abrams (thing)http://everything2.com/user/Kielziz/writeups/M1A1+AbramsKielzizhttp://everything2.com/user/Kielziz2000-09-01T17:39:14Z2000-09-01T17:39:14ZSince approximately 1985, the <a href="/title/M-1A1">M-1A1</a> has been the flagship tank of the <a href="/title/US+Army">US Army</a>. The <a href="/title/M1-A1+Abrams">M1-A1 Abrams</a> is capable of reaching speeds of an impressive <a href="/title/45">45</a><a href="/title/mph">mph</a> over flat terrain, despite its 63 (65 with <a href="/title/depleted+uranium">depleted uranium</a> <a href="/title/armor">armor</a>) ton weight. If this flat terrain happens to be, say <a href="/title/Route+1">Route 1</a>, it will in fact destroy everything in its path (not to mention the <a href="/title/pavement">pavement</a> as well).<br><br>
Equipped with the 120mm M256 <a href="/title/smoothbore">smoothbore</a> main gun (a copy of the German Rheinmetall), the standard "<a href="/title/Ma+Duce">Ma Duce</a>" 50 <a href="/title/cal">cal</a> machine gun at the commander's station, and two 7.62mm machine guns, the Abrams is capable of <a href="/title/devastation">devastation</a>.<br><br>
Perhaps the most impressive feature of the <a href="/title/M-1A1">M-1A1</a> is the <a href="/title/halon">halon</a> fire extinguishing system. Within 2 <a href="/title/millisecond">millisecond</a>s of a flash or fire, the <a href="/title/extinguishers">extinguishers</a> are activated and <a href="/title/immediately">immediately</a> put out any fires in the tank. As a <a href="/title/backup">backup</a> defense system, the top panels of the entire tank are designed to <a href="/title/blow">blow</a> outwards in case the tank is <a href="/title/penetrated">penetrated</a> by a <a href="/title/HEAT">HEAT</a> (<a href="/title/High+Explosive+Anti-Tank">High Explosive Anti-Tank</a>)…GmbH (idea)http://everything2.com/user/Kielziz/writeups/GmbHKielzizhttp://everything2.com/user/Kielziz2000-09-01T04:10:45Z2000-09-01T04:10:45ZGesellschaft Mit Beschraenkter Haftung. In <a href="/title/German">German</a>, at least.<br><br>
In <a href="/title/English">English</a>, it means "Limited company" - essentially, the German form of "<a href="/title/Incorporated">Incorporated</a>".Teeny Little Super Guy (person)http://everything2.com/user/Kielziz/writeups/Teeny+Little+Super+GuyKielzizhttp://everything2.com/user/Kielziz2000-09-01T03:31:50Z2000-09-01T03:31:50Z<p>
<em>"you can't judge a hero by his size, he's just a <strong>Teeny Little Super Guy...</strong>"</em>
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Teeny Little Super Guy is by far the most <a href="/title/incredibly+cool">incredibly cool</a> superhero ever. He was incarnated on <em><a href="/title/Sesame+Street">Sesame Street</a></em>, and instead of the usual puffy muscled, <a href="/title/over-pumped+jock">over-pumped jock</a> style <a href="/title/superhero">superhero</a>, TLSG was a sketchy cartoon drawing of a <a href="/title/dumpy">dumpy</a> oldish guy with a big nose...on the side of a clear drinking cup.
</p><p>
In fact, the whole world that TLSG lived in consisted of enormous <a href="/title/real-life">real-life</a> objects, and was inhabited by other <a href="/title/cup">cup</a>-<a href="/title/people">people</a>. Instead of the usual superpower of <a href="/title/flight">flight</a> or running really, really fast, TLSG's method of transportation was to simply <a href="/title/sink">sink</a> into the <a href="/title/counter">counter</a> (seeing as he did all of his super-hero deeds around the <a href="/title/kitchen">kitchen</a>) and pop up somewhere else.
</p><p>
TLSG was my favorite <a href="/title/bit">bit</a> on <em><a href="/title/Sesame+Street">Sesame Street</a></em>. He's no longer around, I don't think, which is a <a href="/title/shame">shame</a>...he was the most impressive little superhero ever. Even if he was <a href="/title/smaller">smaller</a> than a <a href="/title/salt+shaker">salt shaker</a>.
</p>